I need Him..

Jesus.. I need Him.

More than you and I even know, understand or comprehend. I just know I need Him.

On days when I would prefer to stay in bed all day than waking up I need Him.

When my days are energetic and filled with laughter I need Him.

When motherhood is exhausting I need Him.

And when it makes me cry tears of joy I need Him.

He puts all the pieces in place, and He creates all things lovely.. I honestly don't know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for Jesus.  The sweetness of His Name makes my soul leap. He is my obsession,
my passion.. I need nothing else. Just give me Him.. The One who died for me so that I may live the abundant, eternal life that was promised.

Recently God has been challenging me to step out.. To step out of this comfort zone that I unfortunately made comfortable in. I prayed to Him one day to use me and not let any talents that was given to me to go waste.. And I believe that's exactly what He did..

I am involved in a new Church. A church that is still young and new, a church that started out as an anointed Bible study with just a few people including my hubby and myself. A couple of years later we became a church that's continuing to grow and will reach millions. (can't wait for that!) And because we're a new church we needed some things. A worshiper, Children's Pastor ect. And I wanted to help out. I just wasn't sure how..  Honestly here. I didn't think my talents qualified.. But Jesus thought something different when He told me that I needed to start singing at the church..So after a few more confirmations I sent my Pastor a message asking if I could start singing.. So that's what I've been doing every other Sunday.. I don't actually lead worship at the moment but I bring glory to God as we do tithe and offering and I really love it! I don't have any dreams or visions for this at the moment.. But I know God does and  whether He calls me to worship until my daughter takes the stage or something else I'm completely fine with that! So, here is the very first song I sang a month ago. "Lord I need you" by Matt Maher.

Step out in faith.

Do you ever find it hard to step out? We're always so fearful of making the wrong decisions or pursuing something because we're afraid that it may not be in God's plan for us, or dreaming big because of the fear of failure..

Being a worship leader has always been something that has been on my heart.
 Talking and loving on Jesus through music has always been my favorite way of expressing my love for Jesus because there are no limits and there is nothing more intimate.

I prefer to sing praise to Jesus instead of speaking praises to Him.. Which are both very highly important.

I prefer Singing in tongues instead of speaking them because singing I feel clears my mind more and allows The Holy Spirit to move.

In fact If my life could just be a musical where I sing every sentence I feel as though my mood and insight on things would always be better.. However, I think eventually I'd drive everyone nuts!

I love to worship but have always doubted the fact that a worshiper was my calling. Maybe it was because I compared myself to easily to other worship leaders.. Speaking poison over myself by saying I wasn't as good as others, and that I wasn't qualified to lead.

One thing I have learned on this journey my friends is that Comparison is the main thing that can keep you from doing what God has called you to do.

It has for me for a long time. I got so easily lost in watching leaders worship God.. And instead of getting lost in worship with them I would throw myself a party with Pity and claim that I would never be good enough..

Comparing. It needs to stop! It's such a worldly thing that is encouraged in our generation so much.. It's in magazines, TV.. Pretty much anything media. I believe it's one of the enemy's biggest tools. But you don't have to be affiliated with that. When things pop into your head telling you "You'll never look like that!" You'll never be as good!" Start speaking truth over yourself!

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:14

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Phil 4:13

I think another thing is that we go about waiting on the Lord all wrong.. We sometimes believe that we just need to sit here and expect God to hand everything to us. But it doesn't work that way at all. and it has taken me a long time to process this.

I believe we sometimes get so caught up in whether or not this is our calling that we miss our opportunity to bless God. I don't believe it's God's will for us to be a couch potato.. I actually know it's not!

He wants us to live, and step out in faith.. He can't guide our footsteps if we don't start walking.
We need to stop thinking about whether or not something is our calling and just start moving, and stepping out in faith. God will be blessed and He will bless you.

If you feel led to be a worshiper don't just sit there and wait for them to call you and ask if you would audition but get in there and get involved and if it happens to not be your calling well then at least you will know and can open your mind and allow The Hold Spirit to plant you elsewhere. And the same goes for everything else. Acting, writing, painting. (etc) He's gotta plan for you girlfriend, but He can't move if you don't.

I totally feel like this post is like popcorn.. It's everywhere! So sorry about that. I'm feeling quite passionate about this right now because I actually did it.

For almost two whole years I have debated, questioned and wondered whether or not being a worship leader was my calling. I've always had a desire to do so but never had the guts to just step out of my comfort zone.

But two weeks ago I stepped out. I was tired of this feeling of missing out, I was tired of excuses, and tired of waiting.. And I'm positive Jesus  was done with waiting on me too!

So, after thought and prayer I sent my pastor a message on facebook.. (professional right?)

This is what I wrote Him.

Heather: Hey Pastor Joe!! I was 100% positive I had your email address in my email book but I can't seem to find it anywhere! Tried to be more professional but that didn't quite work out lol.. Anyways, I have been praying and thinking (a little too much!) About my calling in life.. I know I have a calling with ministering to women of all circumstances and I know now I also have a calling for worship. Worship is something I have always had a heart for.. But I spent a lot time wondering whether or not it was an actual calling.. And doubted it was my calling when I compared my voice to others because personally I don't really like my singing voice. But if God does and if He can use it so be it! A lot has kept me from stepping up into volunteering my voice at church. Fear being the biggest issue. Because I have never led worship for a Church so thirsty for Jesus. It terrifies me.  Anyways, I feel like I'm all over the place here.. I just want you to know that God has put a calling on my life to worship and I'm not 100% sure I'd be dependable of being the actual worship leader until I no longer depend on a ride there so I was thinking until then just singing a song every now and then and see where that goes. What are your thoughts Papa Joe?

Just so you know He's not my real papa. He's more like a Spiritual dad to Leon and I. Evelynne calls him Grandpa Joe. This was his response.

Pastor Joe: You are so precious Heather, I will stand in agreement with you concerning your calling. Lets set up Sunday the 29th as your first opportunity to sing a special song for us. This should give you some time to select a song and prepare for the service. Thank you for sharing, you are a blessing to all of us.

Heather:  Sounds good!! 

The whole "sounding good" part was a totally step out in faith! After he said "two weeks" my whole insides shook.. I haven't sung publicly in three years and never in front of my Church family whose love for The Lord means so much to me along with their desire to go deeper in His presence daily. I wanted God to use me to help with that! So, I rebuked nervousness and decided and turn it into rejoice. And the last two weeks I rejoiced, practiced, and rejoiced again. And the 29th of Sunday quickly came.

Before I knew it I was sitting there in the front. Seconds before my name was called out I totally forgot my lyrics.. So, I kept repeating it in my mind and  received the Holy Spirit to help me remember.. He did a great job and we make a great team!

I realized yesterday that even if a worship Leader isn't my calling in life. At least I'll know by stepping out. It is not a situation where I'd lose. Because God would have the glory of my stepping out in faith and He would be pleased with the worship I brought Him.. Besides I believe we are all called to worship. It's why He first created us is it not? To love and adore our One True God? I know it's why I was created because I can't get enough. Worshiping Him is what I long to do for the rest of my life.

Darlings, today I want to encourage you to step out. I want to encourage you to chase your dreams with every strength that God has put in your body and just run and keep running until you win.

                         There's this sign at church that I absolutely love that says:
                                                         perseverance:
               Our greatest glory lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Don't be afraid to fall  Lovelies, because Jesus will always be there to pick you back up every time! 
But have perseverance and never give up! God's gotta plan for you but you need to start taking steps so that He can direct you.

                                              Much love xoxo- Heather Leigh 

Freedom.

 I never thought what it could mean.
Could I really be set free from all things?
Could I be healed from all the stings?
The burdens of this world hung on me like strings.
I thought their was no hope for me.
Could a girl undeserving be set free from these things.
I thought it was too late but You proved me wrong.
You poured Your love on me and over flowed me with a song.
It's finished, Your free. You are now worthy because of Me.
I paid the price for You my child.
Now live free in remembrance of Me.
I got up and the chains broke off.
The tears and nightmares went away and a smile took  place.
This smile Jesus gave me, I just can't take it off my face.
Joyous is the one who counts it all as lost.
Jesus, lead me to the cross for nothing else matters.
Because of Jesus I see so many beautiful patterns.
Light as a feather. As if I'm floating in the water of freedom.
not a burden in the world.
I'm no longer drowning from the rocks dragging me in.
But now I'm floating on top of the water flying on His wings.
Freedom He brings and takes all our cares away.
Freedom He brings to give a chance to all who have gone astray.
Freedom He brings and I forever want to stay in the arms of the One who took my place that day.

He always keeps His promises.

Just sitting here going through my old personal blog posts while my loves are asleep. I came across a poem I wrote back in 2011. I was very blessed to have met my daughter even before she was conceived. God has promised me a little girl and even better He gave me a picture and a memory of her as well. and it still amazes me every day that she is here in my arms today. 

A dream of you. 2011
A dream one night, I dreamed of you.
I dreamed of a little girl. Some how I knew.
You are going to be a big part of my life and many others.
You are going to be a pearl in the heart of your Father's
It's so weird how I can love someone I never met.
Or dream of the day we will.
But somehow I know I can be patient for you.
I will listen to Jesus as he says "Be still"
I remember holding you in my arms. I remember the feeling of a mother.
It is an awesome feeling that can't compare to another.
Your small hands, light hair and tiny feet.
I can't wait til the day we meet!
I remember in my dream. The feeling was so real.
Your precious hands I could actually feel.
And then I woke up and realized it was a dream.
I know this was a dream sent from God. a dream to prepare for you.
I know this is something that will one day come true.
Waiting on The Lord is what I will do. And when He brings you to the world
to God I will dedicate you. I love you.

God always keeps His Promises dear friends! Remember that Awesome truth!

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
 

Flying in Your Arms

I'm soaring on the wings of eagles.
My love for you flies and it soars higher.
Everyday my love for you burns brighter.
Never will my eyes be taken off you.
For you are my constant desire.
You are the One who keeps me flying higher.
Your love is a flame in me burning brighter.
Your love is my comfort my joy and my strength.
 I cannot be moved by any other, but I love being moved by You.
You're my desire. For how can I not be moved by you my Beloved?
For you are all I need.
My hands are lifted up and you move me off the ground.
 With my hands towards the heavens I receive you Jesus with all I am!
As you hold me close to you, no one can come between us.
I am soaring on the wings of eagles and I can touch the skies.
For it is You my Love that taught me what it means to fly.
 I leave all behind everything and I'm not looking back.
All I need is You, and with You I'm moving forward.
Every day I'm flying higher. Wrapped in Your arms of love. A love that is so strong and perfect it can only come from above.

Loved.

Loved . By:Heather Riley
A crown of thorns pierced in your beautiful head.
So many have said they wanted You dead.
I really don't see how You loved me enough to take my place.
You were beaten and tortured as blood poured down Your face.
I was just a servant, a slave.
Until You did something more brave.
You took my sin, my shame, my place.
And then kissed my head as You said "It's erased".
I was a thief, a liar who deserved no mercy.
But You Jesus, died for me. Choosing to make me worthy.
You were pushed, beaten, and shoved.
You did all this so that my sins would be covered with love.
And because of You I'm no longer what I used to be.
I am now a daughter of God that has been set free!

A Valentine's day Poem for you single ladies!

Waiting for the days to pass me by.
I'm waiting for the days to be your bride.

I often feel  so rushed by  many.
And they say a "man like you, there aren't any".

But I choose to trust the One who writes the best love stories.
And to live this life of singleness with no worries.

Because I'm saving all the best of me.
With no regrets I do believe.

Everything I have will be given to you.
A love we'll share that's forever true.

Until that time, for you God will prepare.
Prepare me for the love and commitment we both will share.

And until that time I will continue to seek God as my for ever first love.
For He will forever be my first Belove.

And I will wait for you yes, this I say is true.
And when I know you are the one, I will quietly whisper "I love you"

you & Me

You & me: By Heather Leigh
A life together with you has been so wonderful
Together you and I in a world so colorful.

There are so many guys out there and for me, My love you are the best.
I look at you and the life we made together and I call myself  blessed.

God knew what He was doing when He paired up you and me.
He created a couple made for His ministry.

Our family will change the world with God on our side.
 No we won't sit tight. But instead enjoy the ride!

   
Okay..... I was going through my old.... old old camera back when Leon and I were dating. I actually remember this. When he picked up my guitar and started playing me the randomest songs (Not real songs nor songs that should be real!!)  But Leon's songs.. I guess this was his was of romancing me! & surprisingly it did! A girl loves to laugh you know.. Even if the songs are disgusting!!

 Ps. Don't you love his hair!! I miss it. I can't wait until I can run my fingers through it again. Now when I touch his head I feel a breeze. -_-

Dearest Daughter..

A little life that grew inside of me is now sitting here in my arms.
A little girl God has trusted to me. To love and keep her from harm.

I've waited a long nine months and finally you're here at last!
And now I will hold and love you as long as I can because I've been told "They grow up fast".

I do admit I'm excited to see you grow.
Into a strong, godly and fearless lady that many will be glad to know.

Your Jesus loving spirit will shine and your sweet personality will glow.
And God will use you to light up the world and with you, Himself will show.

But until that time comes when God will use you for such a mighty thing.
I will continue to hold you tight you sweet daughter of The King.

                           HAPPY 2 MONTHS EVELYNNE!

 

Forever I will serve You.

Here is the starting of a new song God has laid upon my heart. I've realized I haven't posted any songs or poems in a while.  Not finished yet and I still may make a few changes to the lyrics. I pray it encourages you today!

You are my God. My Everlasting. Forever I will seek You. You are my refuge in trouble times.
Your strength keeps me alive.
So, I will not be moved. I  will only be moved by you. You are the Solid Rock I stand on. And nothing else will do.

Forever I will serve You, I will always trust in You, You are my Everlasting love, Faithful God, I believe in You. I wont be afraid anymore. For I know you have given  me the wings to soar. Forever Lord  I will serve You



So Amazing. So constant, Your faithful in all You do. Never Ending. Never Changing. Lord all I need is You.

Forever I will serve You, I will always trust in You, You are my Everlasting love, Faithful God, I believe in You. I wont be afraid anymore. For I know that you have given  me the wings to soar. Forever  Lord  I will serve You.

For You believe in me. Even when I do not see. Yes, You only see what Jesus is in me.

 Forever I will serve You, I will always trust in You, You are my Everlasting love, Faithful God, I believe in You. I wont be afraid anymore. For I know that you have given  me the wings to soar. Forever  Lord  I will serve You.    

The more I seek you.

But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.  Deuteronomy 4:29

. 
This song is originally sung by Kari Jobe, Who is one of my favorite worship leaders next to Rebecca st James and Michael w smith! I love this song because it always brings a great joy and sense of the Holy Spirit within me. It reminds me that whenever I seek Him. I will always find Him. He will never hide Himself from me and He will never forsake me. I'm not as videogenic as I am photogenic but I'm hoping to improve on that by starting a video diary shortly about my life  and first pregnancy =DDD. Exciting right?!? Any who I hope you enjoy and remember to keep seeking first Christ. Because He will never forsake or disappoint  His faithful ones. Don't you just love Him! Thank you God for your love and faithfulness!
                 Happy Wednesday ya'll!
Ps.. Sorry for that awkward thumbnail expression.. They always turn out funny looking on me! And yes my hair is shorter. I got it cut  ;)

Lord, You are all I need.

Oh, Jesus Lord. Your mercy is constant.
Your love is unconditional.
Changing my life as each day goes by, If I didn't have you in my life I would surely die.
Some misunderstand You, but they don't know You like I do. I am deeply in love with You!
In You I have become new.  And I trust You Lord, every word that You say is true.
You give me every desire of my heart oh, Lord. There is nothing You hold back from me.
Why did it take so long for me to see, that You are the only one I need.
In me you have planted a seed. I was dead but You have risen me.
I was blind but in You now I see.
Lost but now I'm found. Captivated by Your sweet heavenly sound.

New song!

Hey guys, Here's a song I just wrote! It came straight out of my poetry. I don't have music with it yet, and not even a name. But I really wanted to share it with you this morning! I hope it blesses you to remember that through God you can do all things and He will never leave you to settle for ordinary things. If you have any name ideas please share! I can easily write a song but naming them well, that's another story! I'm hoping to have music with it soon than maybe I could post a video up here! Than you guys can hear my lovely voice!! Haha, totally just kidding!

             The song which not yet has a name.
 Why do you want to fit in?
Because you were made to stand out.
Why be a part of the world? 
It's so full of doubt.
Don't you know you were made for so much more?
There is so much God has in store.
 Put your trust in Him.
 Chorus.
Because in Him mountains move, Water is turned to wine, There is nothing that you can't do when God is by your side. Instead of a compass why don't you try using God as your guide.


Why do you settle like so many often do?
Don't you know what God says is true?
He knows your heart, and your inner most dreams.
And those dreams He wants to give you.
Put your trust in Him. 
 Chorus
Because in Him mountains move, Water is turned to wine, There is nothing that you can't do when God is by your side. Instead of a compass why don't you try using God as your guide.

Love story.

I waited for you love and your here in my arms.
They told me to date others but that would only do me harm.
I guess I just didn't understand the whole looking process for the right man.
When I already knew God had him in His hand. I guess they didn't understand the one I needed to be my beloved man. You see the man I had prayed for is not like the men I have seen. For these men I have seen would not love me for who I am in God but what I could do to satisfy their own heart and desire. I hated that because it just wasn't right! A man not after Gods own heart is not a man at all but he was a boy from the start. That's what this world is full of a bunch of boys and a waste of time. But Jesus knew that I needed something different. A man I could call mine. I wanted a man who had traits from my God I love. kindness,forgiveness,honesty and compassion. People make fun of me and say I'm old fashioned. But I know what I have. I waited and I am blessed. I not only have a man after Gods own heart and a holy man I love dearly. But my God whom I love so much and He's writing our love story!

My Holy Hunk

I watch you every chance I get and baby you inspire me!
Come dance in the rain with me.
Lets dance to every drop of rain
Two young people in love.
That's one thing that will remain.
For I never thought a man could catch my eye like you do each day.
A young man seeking God with all His heart.
I guess that's how you found me.
I have always wanted to see my beloved Christ in the man that is my to be.
I always knew you were my "holy honey". I just didn't know when or how?
See, some other ladies had eyes on you too and I thought they better watch out.
But I didn't realize til the day it happened.
That once I let go of you was the day you started to pursue.
I love everything about you honey.
How you do everything with your best ability.
And how your a true man of God!
you are not just any body you are my "holy honey"

Desires of my heart.

Father, I want to tell you about this man you are giving to me. He is a man like no other. When I see him he looks like an angel. Bright in shining armor. Loyal,humble,kind and true. Lord every time I see him it makes me think of You! I see Your Spirit in Him and the man you desire him to be. And I praise You Father because You desire him to have a life with me. I think of you when I see Him Jesus, because of Your promise I knew you would keep. That if I wait on You Jesus my desires you'll give. And Father I will trust You for as long as I live! At first I wasn't sure what I wanted til You have shown him to me in the garden. I want to marry someone who loves You! And that was when You showed me who I was to pursue. I saw a tall,handsome man with eyes so dreamy.And You said this is the man you are to marry. But remember my sweet daughter, to pursue me first always. Because I can tell you where to go from here. To trust me always and lean not on your own understanding or his. Encourage this man I have given to you but remember he isn't Me. For I am putting you both together for My ministry and I can't wait for you to see.

I love you.

There is so many things I want to say and do, to demonstrate my love for you!
Is there actually one word that has all my thoughts in one? No one could find none.
For you are a rare man indeed, and the second my eyes we're upon you I could see, that this is a man of God, and he has nothing to hide. So gentle,humble,kind and true.
No man on this earth Mr. Riley could compare to you. Listen to these words sir, for they are very true. Jesus is the only One that I love more than you. Take you're time to get to know me beloved, and much more after that. I have so many things to show you my love, so take thy hand in mine and I will show you the way. I keep trying to find the words. There is just so much I want to say. "I love you sweetheart" There is no other way.

I can do all things through You!

You are my only desire.
In my heart you have put a overflowing  fire.
You make all my dreams come true.
I can do all things through You.
In your strength I can fly.
No one can deny.
It doesn't matter what people say or do.
I know I can do all things through you.
You give me wings to soar, to fly.
This love I have for you will never die.
When everyone says I can't.
When encouragement is not something they plant.
You are always there to encourage, and you tell me not to listen to men.
But to listen to You and to remember through Him I can.

Never give up on your dreams, don't just settle for something because of your fear. Don't just stop at good, because good, is the enemy of better and best! God wants to do more in our lives than we could ever imagine! So, don't be afraid to go for it!

You are my Love.

Jesus, The more I seek You.
The more I find You.
Each day as I seek You.
I love you more and more.
Each time I knock, You open the door.
You do not forsake me for things I have done.
You hug me and hold me close and whisper softly "The battle is won"
You have given me everything! It is already done.
I love You forever Jesus. You are my only One.
I want to lay at your feet and listen to You teach.
I want to hear every word, every word You preach.
I want to be so close to You, to lay against You and breath.
I want to feel Your heartbeat.
Nothing can compare to this love You have given.
In the rain I dance! I know what it's like to be free and forgiven.
It's indescribable and nothing can compare.
It's like I was suffocated and now I can breath air.
I'm floating in clear blue water, weightless as I can be.
I feel You carrying me, as I swim through the blue sea.
I want it to be all about You Lord.. I'm done with living for me!
You are the breath of life. Over flow me in Your living water.
Perfect love You show Father! Perfect love to a daughter.

You are strong.

Why do you want to fit in, When you are made to stand out?
Why be apart of the world, When it is so full of doubt?
Why do we want to draw attention to ourselves,When it's not about you?
It should be all about Jesus, and what He wants us to do!
Are we such imitators of men, that we desire to be like them?
I desire to be like God! The GREAT I AM.
For He is not of the world, and He never will be.
The world will give you lies, But Jesus will set free.
Are you bondaged with the thought of fitting in?
Do you feel you have to be different or thin?
Well, let me tell you that you couldn't be more wrong.
Jesus loves you for who you are, and in His arms you belong.He thinks you are beautiful and so very strong. Don't listen to the lies. Day and Night Satan tries.
Every day he tries his best. To captive you like the rest.
But you are different, You have God's strength in You!
You never thought you could be this strong huh? Well Jesus already knew!