Ladies...

                               
                               Don't let anyone (including yourself)  tell ya differently!
                                                   Because you are worthy.
                                                     You are beautiful.
                                                      You are LOVED.
                                                  And you are worth dying for!

31 days of Beautiful// You are beautiful.

Hello lovelies, Today I am writing my first post on my 31 days of beautiful series  I'm super excited about it!
Today I'm going to be talking about physical beauty.. The kind of beauty that seems to matter most in this world and the the kind of beauty that really seems to matter less to God.

Physical Beauty.. Why is it so important? Perhaps because so many people have made their physical beauty their identity, perhaps they think it's all they have going for them, or perhaps some believe they will never be truly happy in life if they are not physically beautiful.

Growing up in a house full of girls with only two poor boys. I've quickly noticed how important physical beauty is to women. I remember my older sister spending hours on her make up/getting dressed/doing her hair. And I remember the tears that were cried by my poor younger sister who would hide in the bathroom crying because someone pointed out a flaw on  her beautiful face.

I myself have had major insecurity issues because I didn't qualify myself as beautiful. I didn't even think I was close to it. And because of that I was desperate to find a way to be beautiful I was willing to take a path that could eventually harm myself. I've always felt insecure about my weight. But somehow after taking two weight loss pills daily and surviving on slim fast drinks every other day I somehow felt better about myself.. That lack of nutrition and weakness flowing through my body from lack of food felt amazing. As long as I felt skinny I was happy.

Looking back at myself and how ridiculous I was for thinking that way makes me shake my head at myself and how I was acting. I was so focused on feeling skinny that ruining my own body was an option. It's sick really and even more sickening is that so many women and young women are going through the same thing and the media encourages it, even inspires it. Planting the need to be skinny in the minds of so many. Leaving us so obsessed with with how we look physically we forget to leave room for the most important thing to work on beautifying. Our heart.

 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  1 Samuel 16:7

Ladies, The media is a place that lies and deceives. It tricks you and tells you that you need to fix yourself before you can feel good about yourself. It tells you that you'll never feel good about yourself  unless you buy this beauty product that's way out of your budget, it tells you that you'll never be happy about your fashion style until you wear these five hundred dollar boots, and that you'll never be truly beautiful until you have been photo shopped and completely flawless..

Can I tell you something Sisters?  The world is full of liars that are on a mission to make you feel horrible about yourself. They are of the world and you don't have to fall victim for it.
The reason why we believe these things are not because they are true (Because they're far from it!) but because after hearing it and reading it we speak these things over ourselves. And when we keep telling ourselves we'll never be happy until I  _______ . We start to believe it with all our heart. And that's a problem.

But be of good cheer Darling and keep your chin up. Because even though you may be thinking negative about yourself right now God is thinking VERY differently about you!

He says you're beautiful.
So the King will greatly desire your beauty; Because He is your Lord, worship Him.
                                                                                           - Psalms 45:11

He knows everything about you! Even the hair on your head he has numbered.
But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. - Luke 12:7

He has searched you and known you, He knows your every thought and every desire. He is always where you are. His thoughts for you are so precious to Him.. They are so full of Mighty Love that our hearts are not even close to contain it!
                                    -Psalms 139

My sisters, there are so many words in this Awesome word of God's unfailing love for you! So many I don't even think this post could handle. But may I encourage you to read some of this truth next time the media tries to steal your joy? And to start speaking The thoughts of Jesus over yourself?  It's incredibly life changing once you know that you are beautiful.

And not because of your physical beauty. I honestly don't think that's what Jesus is referring to. Even though we are all physically beautiful because God created us in His image. But I believe what Jesus means by beauty is our hearts. 

The Lord made it very clear in the scripture about that He doesn't look at the physical body, but He looks at the heart.. Now I'll be the first to admit that I sometimes get to carried away with outward beauty and not focus enough on inward beauty. The world has gotten the hang of making outward beauty it's focus. Which as always a total opposite of God's way, and thoughts.


 "Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:4

The heart is so much more precious to our First Love than  physical beauty ladies.  Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't wear make up, or dress fashionably. I believe God wants us to look our best and dress our best. Because we represent Him. But He doesn't want us to make it our main focus.. He doesn't want physical beauty to go through our minds 24/7. Because to Him it's not beautiful at all.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.  -Proverbs 31:30

So, my darlings, I want to encourage you today. I want you to know that YOU.ARE.BEAUTIFUL!

Not because the world says so, not because I say so, not because of your wardrobe, make up products, weight loss, or weight gain, not even because of who you are but because of who Jesus is in you. And He has made you absolutely flawless girl! He thinks you're beautiful love! And I just happen to agree with Him! Because it would be totally a bad idea to disagree with The King of kings.


                                       Much love to you today, Beautiful!
                                                    xoxo-Heather. 

Beloved,

and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.  Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. -Revelation 2:3-4

 I want to encourage you today to never forget your first love.. This is a verse The Lord had laid on my heart lately. It's pretty deep if you ask me. 

You know, living the life we live, the fast mode we're used to, and the blessings that have become so ordinary to our sight. We often forget about Our first love.  Especially in the busyness of  day. 

Sometimes we don't even realize that we have forgotten the most important One in our life, The One that completes us, The One who is constantly waiting for us to draw near to Him so He can show us the things unseen, The One who calls us "Beloved". 

And that is why I believe the rate for divorce is high, Mama's are burned out and feel a loss of patience,  Ladies in waiting are done with waiting, and ministries aren't ministering. 

Darlings , right here.right now. Lets dedicate our lives once again to the One who first loved us. 
Lets remember that it's only the love of Jesus that can complete us.

My Married sisters, Let us stop seeking  the love and perfection from our husbands that is impossible for them to give you. Lets stop giving them our one hundred percent just to expect one million percent from them. Because truth is we are never going to get a million percent from them and sometimes we may not even get that one hundred percent.
But let that not determine our unfailing love for our husbands. Let us love our husbands like Jesus loves us! And let us remember that the most important thing in marriage isn't to serve each other. It's not to cater each others every need. It's about living your life working together as a ministry, sacrifice, and to serve the One who can fill our every need. 

My mama's, Lets not forget to get some Jesus time in before the day starts.. Meet Him in the morning of the day before the little darlings get up.. Lets give Him the first of what we are so He can give us the first of who He is! Let His love over power us so we can share that love with our children as we continue to plant seeds in their life that will stick with them forever.  I'm telling you it's much better than a cup of coffee! 

My single sisters, I know sometimes it's hard to wait.. You want to be loved, cherished and cared for by a man. And Jesus knows and understands and He's bringing you your promised one. But until then let Him continue to romance you and draw you closer to Him.. Choose Jesus to be your Beloved, your main Man, your Everything. Because it is only Him who can and wants to fill your every need and every desire. 

And to all of my sisters in Ministry, Whether it's blogging, across country, in the church or even in the home. Let us remember to not be so soaked up and focused on serving God that we forget about Him. Let us not be so focused and busy preparing things that we forget to include God in the midst of it all. I believe that's one reason why the Church isn't reaching, healing and ministering. We're so focused on schedule and plans and running around like a crazy person that we forget to sit down sometimes and just love on Jesus and let Him be the ministry.

So my sisters, my friends. Today let us be reminded and never forget His unfailing love that's captivating.
Let us never forget our first Love during the craziness of our lives but instead run to Him. The One who can turn it into something beautiful and peaceful once again.

What I want my daughter to know & you to know too!

  First off can you believe my baby girl will be 9 months on Sunday? Man oh man oh man! Any way now that  that's out of the way and off my chest.

When I found out I was pregnant I was super excited about the responsibility God has anointed and blessed me with. It's something I take very seriously and I feel it should be.

These nine months have been such a fun and loving experience.  There hasn't been a day that went by when I didn't thank Jesus for my dearest Evelynne. And just watching her grow, doing new things each day and exploring what nature has to offer her excites me and has me thinking about what I desire to teach her and have already started!

I look forward to teaching my daughter so many things. To read, write, to find  beauty in the simple things in life. But  I believe really the most important thing I can teach my daughter, reveal to her and encourage her to receive and to know,  is her true identity in Christ! Because so many in the world are going to try and deceive her, and tell her who they think she is.  It is so important that those things don't matter to her and that the only opinion that should and does matter is from her Heavenly Beloved, Her Heavenly Father and King.

To remember that she is beautiful beyond compare. Not because of her looks or what she wears.  But to remember that she is beautiful because God made her that way. He looks at her, adores her and knows what He has made is really good! Genesis 1:31

To remember that she is the Victor and never the victim. Because she is the true daughter of the most High God. A spiritual warrior that cannot be defeated.



"But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." -1 Corinthians 15:57

  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. -Philippians 4:13  For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. -Romans 6:14
To remember not to fear because she is perfectly loved. And that nothing can harm her. To know that she has the authority to stomp serpents, to heal the sick, raise the dead, and no evil thing will come near her. To know that evil is powerless when the Children of God are unafraid. And that God has given her the Authority to do such things.

There is no fear in love but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
-1 John 4:18

 
Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. That she has the very abundant life that God has given to her through His Son. 
-1 John 4:17

And when He had called unto Him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.

-Matthew 10:1

Before she was conceived God knew her and sanctified her.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. -Jeremiah 1:5

 
She is the Bride of Christ. And she is cherished and crowned with glory and honor.

 

To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:  -Colossians 1:27

 

 For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour. 

-Psalms 8:5 

And She was created for His Glory to do the Mighty things that God has anointed her  to do. And only she can do! 

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. -Revelation 4:11

Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him. -Isaiah 43:7

And that she can go to Jesus with anything and He will answer her and show her mighty things in His Name.   Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. -Jeremiah 33:3 


I have mentioned before that I believe the most important thing for a woman to know or anyone in general is to know their Identity in Christ! Because once they know that. Nothing will be able to stop them. Not fear, not condemnation, not people, and not even circumstances! When we know our identity in Christ we are dangerously unstoppable! 

I want to teach my daughter these things because I believe it is the most important thing a Born again Christian can know. If they don't know this, they will be stomped on and deceived by what the world thinks they are. My desire and dream is that my daughter knows who she is in Christ. That she can stand tall as a believer looking down to no one. 

 To have such authority in Christ and allowing Him to work miracles in her life. 

My uttermost prayer is that what people say doesn't move her.

But what she says moves other people. 

That she can stand inline at a grocery store and not envy or be discouraged by the half dressed model in a magazine. 

But instead pray for her and pity her.

 To not be effected by piers but instead her piers be effected by her. 

I believe God has given Leon and I such responsibility by placing this little love muffin in our hands A responsibility we will take most seriously. I can't tell you how blessed I am to be a mama!


                                                            Dearest Darlings,
                     If you don't know your identity in Jesus I highly recommend that you find out.
                     It's the identity Jesus overcame the world with and He wants to place that identity in you.
                    But loves, He can only give it to you if you receive it! And trust me you'll be glad you did!                                   Because you will NEVER be the same.

If you have any questions  or need encouragement on "Your identity in Christ" please feel free to e-mail me @ Heather.l.Riley.LWACW@gmail.com. I'd love to chat with you!

                                         Until then Love ya sisters! 
                                            XOXO - Heather

p.s Don't forget to come back tomorrow for the 2nd week of the "Finally Fall Link up" It's topic is  "Your  fall wardrobe" Dream or reality! But really you can link up anything fall related!

In our marriage we:

desire our marriage to look and be like this everyday.

totally agree with this!



& especially me. We need to be reminded of this.


absolutely believe this is the way it should be.. Especially in Marriage. 



say "Amen" to this!  And praise God because of His Truth.. In this season of life we are in right now. It's so easy to get  frustrated, down, and just upset. And for me with Leon working all the time at night. It's easy to feel lonely too! But we know that we are not victims but we were made to overcome. Leon and I are going through hard times right now.. But we hold tight to the awesome truth that God isn't finished yet..  And instead of letting our emotions be ruled by "circumstances" We make our circumstances be moved by our faith! Amen.

 know that with Christ we can do all things.. Heal the sick, raise the dead. and do the impossible for The Glory of Jesus Christ and only in His Powerful Name.. We know that if we ask God for anything together in His Name. It will be done.

We know that "tough" season in life can be just as refreshing as a "good" season. It really just depends on how your attitude is and how you choose to look at it... You can either be moved by your circumstances or take control of them and refuse to let it steal your joy.. You'd be surprised by how quickly a "tough" circumstance can change into a good one.

Though this is a hard season in life for Leon and I right now. We hold tight that there is a plan and a future for both of us.. We know we won't struggle financially for much longer, we know that Leon and I will get back to the newness we once had, and we know that now and at the end of it all. God will get all the glory and this experience in life is going to minister to millions of young married couples one day. We know that Jesus will take what the enemy has tried to make for bad. And use it to do amazing things! Because God is just awesome and groovy  in that way! (yes, I said groovy! Don't judge! ;)

We want to wish you a Happy July 4th!

Happy Fourth of July Friends! I am so grateful for the freedom I have and for our soldiers and police officers who fight every day and risking their own lives to defend our freedom! I often feel as though they're not recognized or appreciated enough. So major shout out to you Ladies and Gentlemen. I thank each and every one of you for your service!

I'm so glad to be free! & to live in a country that's free. I'm blessed that I live in a country to where I can open up my bible at a star bucks  without the fear of authorities seeing me and dragging me off to jail.. A thought like that hasn't even crossed my mind while opening my bible at a star bucks. And I'm so blessed I don't have to live like that. But my heart yearns for those who are murdered and prosecuted to this day just because they just own a bible.

I'm glad we have the freedom  to make a difference in the world we live in. I'm glad we have the opportunity to speak up and fight for the innocent. Though I am often thinking of ways to make my voice louder and more effective. I really don't plan on leaving this earth until every abortion clinic is closed and burned to the ground.

And most importantly friends, I'm so extremely blessed for my Freedom in Christ. This is a freedom to really rejoice and shout about. For if I didn't carry this freedom no other freedom would matter. I would be nothing. I am free from my past, present and future. I'm free from what ever comes my way.. Being free in Jesus just makes this life  worth living. Yay Jesus!!

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Purity & Forgiveness

Happy July 1st!!! I feel like this year is going by so fast.  I'm doing something a bit differently today friends. I'm going to be sharing a vlog with you! This is my very first time making a spiritual vlog so I was a bit nervous but making encouraging blogs are something that Jesus has been really putting upon my heart to do. It's definitely not something I like to do because well, they're  awkward and sometimes I just don't know what to say or share. A bit out of my comfort zone you know?  But God has given me the words to speak just as He has given me the courage to turn my video camera on & share. I've heard these things get easier and easier with every vlog so until than I can be fearless. I know these vlogs Jesus has encouraged me to do will bless someone including myself to be more of a public speaker. Anyways... Now that I have poured my heart out to you about vlogging.

This vlog title is called "Purity & Forgiveness"
About forgetting  what God has already forgotten which is such a hard thing to do sometimes isn't it? We often feel like God remembers the bad things more than the good. But my friend it's the total opposite. The God we serve is The God of love and when Jesus died on the cross for you all of your sins were forgiven & forgotten right there. Right at the moment Our Sweet Beloved whispered "It is finished".  Our Past. Our Present. Our Future. There is nothing that you can do to separate His love from you.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

Today friends, right this moment. I deeply encourage you to forget what God has already forgotten.. To trust and accept the fact that you ARE forgiven, loved and treasured indescribably. He takes great delight in you girl! Much love XOXO



 

Also, don't forget to come back Wednesday for our Mommy 5 Link up! We will be discussing our top five pieces of advice for birth/labor.. :)

He really loves you!

 There's a song I know very well that I keep close to my heart. It starts out "He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane,I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of  His wind and mercy When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me".

This song is more real to me today than it has ever been. I understand this song, I know the love of my sweet and precious Jesus. These aren't just words to me. These are  truths from My Heavenly beloved.

My dear friend, may I encourage you and love on you today?
It makes me sad. It makes me sad when I see dear sisters not feeling cherished or loved, it makes me sad when they look for that kind of satisfaction in men and the turn out is not what they expected and in return they end up feeling even worse than they did before. 

My dear sister, I want  to encourage you and tell you with the greatest love I have in my heart that you will not find what you desire and what you need on this earth. You will not find the satisfaction you oh so desire in a man of the world or even a man of God. The hope you look for, the love you desire and the perfection you seek. There is only One who carries it. Only One. And boy does He want to get to know you! You are all He thinks about babe. In fact He can't get you off His mind.  His Name is Jesus. Would you like to meet Him?

Before you shut me out, try to shut me up and have a complete melt down on me. Listen. He's not what you think and He's certainly not what many have led you to believe. They probably have told you that Jesus is judgmental and hates people who don't obey Him, You've probably heard that He's a punisher and is just waiting to strike you down and waiting for you to do something wrong. You've probably also heard that He isn't even real. But let me tell you He is real, very real! And what the world says of My Jesus isn't true at all. In fact. He's the complete opposite!

He doesn't come to condemn. He comes to save.
He brings Life and Life more abundantly.

And girl, If you have ever questioned The Love that this Man upstairs has for you. Read Psalm 139. Now that's a love letter.

Did you know that not only does Jesus love you. He loves you enough to die for you! Did I mention He did? It was the only way we could be saved and become His bride. It was the only way we could be united with such a perfect bridegroom. He left His throne and came down to our level and died a horrible death so that we could forever be with Abba!

You see, I was a sinner once. I did all that and who knows what else. I was that girl, That girl who was nothing, not worthy to anyone. But Jesus found me and gave me His hand. He helped me up and carried me to a place that was safe. He covered me in royalty. And then He introduced me to His Father. King of all, Lord of Lords. And His Father adopted me as one of His own and I am no longer called a sinner of the world. But I am now a daughter of Christ. God is now my Father and my Sweet Jesus is my Heavenly Beloved. And you know, He wants to do the same for you! I can't tell you how my life has changed for the better! I have had a love encounter so incredible that there are days when I can't even move or speak.Because His presence is just over taking! My friend I want you to have this same experience. And Jesus wants you to as well.

 Maybe you're feeling lonely, Maybe you've done something that you feel that there is no going back to before, maybe you don't even know who God is and you've always known Him as somebody who didn't like you. Or like me maybe you just didn't find yourself worthy of Jesus, maybe you think of it to be impossible for Jesus to even think of you.

Well, girl let me tell you that you are never off His mind. You were on His mind the day He created the earth, To the day He died on the cross for you, to the day He arose again, and to this day YOU are on His mind and He doesn't want you to go another day without you knowing who He really is. There is nothing you could ever do to make Him not love you! Nothing. Because He sacrificed it all, His own life so that everything you have done in the past, the present and the future could be as though it never happened. He so desires for you to see yourself the way He sees you!

So my friend if you want to experience  His love. His amazing Love. Pray for a love encounter at this moment you are reading this. Speak to God, share your heart with Him and just be silent and worship Him. Let Him save you and just wrap yourself around His love as you listen to this powerful love song.



If you need prayer, or just some words of encouragement please email me I would love to hear from you. Be blessed sisters! Xoxo

 Mama's out there!! Come join Sarah and I for our Mommy 5 #2 Link up tomorrow! After tomorrow we are excited to do this Link up every other Wed. Yay!! Sarah has come up with the question for this week and this weeks question is "What are your 5 top favorite  baby names?"  And we promise we're not asking you this so you would accidentally give away the name of you little blessing you're carrying.. Even though I wouldn't mind because ya'll are driving me cray cray for not letting us know ha!  We just like to hear your favorites and unique names! Who knows maybe somebody is still seeking a name for their wee little lad or lassie and finds your blog and there it is!! A name you picked is chosen for their little person.. (Yes clearly I am thinking too much of this!! Any who be blessed you lovelies and I so look forward to seeing your answers. Spread the word. :)

Over coffee.

Love to you on Monday sweet friend! It's rainy here and it's defiantly a great day for two good friends who are in love  with Jesus to go on a date and talk about our main Man!

The One who holds our tomorrow in His hands and gives us hope everyday as He writes our future.

If I were having coffee with you today, I would share with you a book that is on my list called "The Believers Authority" By Andrew Wommack. I am so filled with the Holy Spirit as I read this book as Andrew goes deeper on who we are in Christ and the Authority we have in Him. We actually have the Authority to do everything Jesus did on earth. And that's exactly what Jesus wants us to do here on earth. Everything He did. He wants us to be love with skin on. To love those who are hard to love, to heal those who can't be healed, to raise those who are dead, to cast out devils and to be the light of the world! I believe with all my heart that when we know our identity in Christ and carry it with us we can really do all things in Jesus. And that makes a little devil terrified haha! Praise Him!!
 

 If I were having coffee with you today, I would ask you how you were doing?
I would ask "What has God been doing in your life?"  & I would ask if He has revealed anything to you about Him lately? He's so mysterious isn't He? A relationship is never boring with Him because as long as you keep spending time with Him He will constantly show you things. Things about Him, things about the future, past and present and He will even show you things about "you". I love how Jesus knows me more than I know me. He knows my name, my every thought, every word I have said, every thing I have done in my past. He knows everything about me and yet, He still calls me loved. He still loves me with a Love that can't be taken away, can't be decreased and obviously can't be hidden. I hope everywhere I go people see the Love of Jesus in me.
 

 His love is just something I can't get over. It's higher than the mountains that I face everyday, it's stronger than death itself and the best part IT NEVER FAILS, IT NEVER GIVES UP & IT NEVER RUNS OUT.
His love is forever. It's a cup that never runs out of living water. He's so High and Mighty.

Oh, can I get an Amen!?! 

 

  If I were having coffee with you, I would tell you how sad it makes me that people get so caught up in religion they don't take the time to really get to know the real Jesus. They get to know their religion, they swear by their religion and follow their religion and they put limits on God. It makes me sad because they think they know Jesus but they don't, they think they know His love but they don't. They know their religion.That's why I believe so many depart, they go astray because their not getting filled, their not satisfied. I believe they fall because they didn't know Jesus and who He was in the first place. That's why I believe it's our job to show them who He is! Who He really is. Because once you know who He is you're NEVER gonna want to leave Him again!

If I were having coffee with you today, I would tell you that I pray that Evelynne will know the love of Jesus and I really believe she does. Her and I will be worshiping together in the morning and I'll look over and see her smiling and being so joyous. I believe she was feeling the love of Jesus and worshiping Him in her own baby way. I'm just so looking forward  to watching her grow into the the lovely lady God has created her to be. I really believe that this little lady has the heart of David. A love for worshiping her main Man.I can't believe she's gonna be 6 months on Saturday! (HALF A YEAR AAHHH!!)

 

 You know. I really want to tell you this morning that Jesus loves you! He really does. And that He's here with you. And if you're going through something He wants to help you and make a way for you. Because He love and cares for you more than you know! 

He wants to make you a victor.

He wants you to have victory over your weakness and troubles.

He wants the mountains in your life to move.

He wants you to have joy and love.

He wants you to know that you're beautiful.

He wants you to know He cares.

He wants you to know that you are LOVED..

This is what I would tell you if we were having coffee today dear friend. I only wish and desire we were really having coffee in person. I would ask you if I could pray over something in your life. I would ask you if I could lay hands on you and command whatever is going wrong in your life to be made right again. I would command every fear to be gone, every doubt to cease, And every stronghold to be released. I wish I could do this in person but since we can't if you have a prayer request email me here and I would be happy to stand with you on something as we take it to the feet of our Heavenly Beloved together.

This is what I would tell you Lovely if we were joined together enjoying a warm (Or cold) Latte in the comfort of a coffee shop loving on Jesus together. What would you tell me?

Purity, Freedom and our identity.

 I will never forget the first morning. The first morning I woke up feeling shame. 
I felt like I had engaged in a series of fights. Battles I believed I couldn't win. I felt beaten up by a giant I could not defeat.  Chased by a darkness that I just couldn't ignore, I heard whispers of defeat dancing all around my shaken body. As my heart and mind had become beaten by this sudden war. I felt defeated, condemned as tears of pain ran down my red cheeks, my soul hiding it's face as I cried out "Jesus. What have I done?" 

I remember crying until their were no more tears to cry while trying to get my act together before my morning shift. This was the morning after my beliefs, my purity had been compromised. The morning after something happened I thought wouldn't be possible. I was strong enough to fight off lust. Or so I thought.

What is "lust" anyways? If you were to ask me that question a few years ago, I would have told you that "Lust" is a "sexual desire" one has for someone else outside of marriage. Something I didn't have a problem with. But if you were to ask me now. I would tell you that "Lust" is a dangerous root that comes in all kinds of  forms and disguises.

I say this with complete honesty. From what I can remember sexually desiring a man has never been a desire of mine. Sex was something I personally didn't feel the need to have. In fact I probably wouldn't have minded living the rest of my life as a virgin.. I have often heard women speak of "Sex" as just something women did for their husbands to please them or to just get them to shut up. I've thought "Sex" was for the man only. And after being sexually molested by a few family members and old friends being too afraid to say "no" and to fearful of saying anything to my parents. I had no interest in sex. So, lust, I didn't think was a problem for me.

Love.. Who would have thought that Lust could come in such a form? Of course not the "perfect love" that Jesus died to give us. But a desire to be loved. I was so lustful after love that I would have done anything to get it! And when you have such a desire to be loved without an ability to say "no" things can go very wrong.

That was me. To be loved was all that I wanted. Yes, I was a Christian my whole life.. But a religious Christian. I knew Jesus loved me but I couldn't grasp any of it. I sung the songs of "His love" but "Is it really true?" I often wondered.. I doubted many times. How could he have loved somebody like me? I to easily compared the love of God to my father's love.. I've always felt like I had to earn my fathers love. And because of that I never thought God was capable of loving me because I was not worthy. When in fact. All Jesus wanted to do was love on me but I was to desperate to feel the love of my earthly father who often rejected me that I shut Jesus out. And there was no room for His love in my heart.. Because my heart was filled with other things.. And that I didn't realize. I would go on and on in my mind of what I could do to earn the love of Christ. To be able to feel His love inside of me. And that is when I decided that I'd be pure for Jesus. And I would earn His love that way. So, all this time I'd talk about "Purity" About how I"m going to be 100% pure until marriage. I was under the impression that if I did that. I would be pleasing God and my dad for sure. And that there, was when Purity became my identity.I haven't  realized until now that I wasn't trying to remain pure for anyone but myself. So that I could get the satisfaction and so that I would get the attention I wanted and so that I could wear the halo for a while.

I didn't  find my identity in Christ at all. Honestly, I never thought I had one in Him.. I just thought the only thing I had was purity. It was my "Identity" And after I met my husband Leon. That lustful feeling of needing to be loved came back.. (Actually, I don't even think it left in the first place.)

For months, I had felt a battle, like the signal sound of warning filling my ears. Painful memories had come back, as the painful things returned and happened again for the last four years of my life. Making me feel like an object, a victim, worthless all over again. These bad memories had been surfacing my mind like dead  rotting fish in the lake as the enemy whispers in my ear just how worthless he convinced me I am.

And before I knew it, without even realizing it. I've allowed my desire to be loved take over. I had surrendered to a struggle with purity.

The next morning my feet hit the floor in shame.. I even felt too condemned to pray or even read my bible.. I've compromised purity, the identity I had.. There was nothing left of me.  My heart was broken, darkness overshadowed the light. Beating me constantly. Reminding me of what had happened the day before.. Leon and I didn't actually have sex.. But in my mind it wouldn't have made a difference at the time. I was ruined. There was no healing for me as my heart scattered across my bedroom floor into a million tiny pieces.

 I look back at that night as a new person. I no longer feel shame about those nights. But instead I thank God. I thank God for creating me  with perfection, making me new for His Glory. 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I thank God for working all things out from my mistakes and fixing them. Because He loves me. And making me more white and more pure today than I have ever been.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

And I thank God for opening my eyes and reminding me each day with love. Just how much I need Him to be my identity. And nothing else. 
 
To this day I don't think of the past as regretful memories, or painful memories. I no longer soak in tears because of them, I no longer give myself a pitty party because of what I have done.. Who has time for that?

I now look at the past as a battle that has been defeated, a victory that has taken place, a war that has been won.

A situation the enemy had planned to ruin me, But God's love had taken over and He renewed me.

I can look back and just thank God for loving me so much and taking me out of the situation I was in. 

My dear friends, these are not empty words I promise... This is not an empty testimony, It's not an empty story from one's past. It is a story of one's mistake that God has taken and made it beautiful. As if nothing had ever happened.. So today my friends I want to encourage you!

Sister, His passion for us is deep. His love  wants to overtake our whole bodies. And His kindness, it wants to convince us  that abandonment is not who He is, despair is not His language and punishment is not how He works. And He will do whatever it takes until we know this in our very souls. Some of us run around like pain and fear has the authority, like our experiences hold the scepter, like it is our memories that are stronger than death. (And until now that was me.) He extends the invitation to us to just pause. Pause and take all that authority we have stored up in our past and pour it out on Jesus. The Cross broke the power that we think this thing has over us and He is on the throne! Claiming us to be His bride.

And even today, like a subtle breeze, Jesus is whispering into our hearts reminding us that the authority that raised Him up out of the grave is the authority that's burning  inside of us.  We can use that authority or we don’t. The choice is ours. But there is a better option, a more beautiful answer.
The more we use that authority, the easier it gets. The more we believe we are who He says we are, the simpler it becomes.
Because purity is so easy when we know who we are.
You are too worthy and too valuable and too loved and too beautiful for this to destroy you. Don’t believe the lie that freedom is a reward. Because it’s not. Free is who you are! We are His Beloved.