Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
Isaiah 41:10
Hey lovelies, so I have been working on
going deeper in a study about fear and learning to be more fearless.
So, in the future you will probably see more posts on things I have
learned. Because of this I have decided to share my own testimony with
you about fear and the bondage it had over more life for many years.
Ever since I was little "fear" has
always been a huge part of my life. I remember very vividly when I was a
young girl my family watched the classic "Wolf Man" in the family
living room. I remember being so fearful and hiding under the kitchen
table with the fear of the Wolf man coming to get me. I'm not gonna say
that's where the fear started because honestly I don't know. But I
remember letting fear have power over me through out my entire
childhood.
I couldn't even tell you everything I
feared with a deep emotion. I was afraid to be in my family basement by
myself, to be upstairs by myself, to be outside by myself, to be inside
the house by myself. I was even afraid of Male Cashiers. Why? I have no
idea. It sounds so silly to me now. But when I was younger it was a
serious matter. I would actually wait in the longer line if that meant I
would have a girl cashier.
I would have to say the biggest fear
that had most power over me was the fear of demons. I remember seeing
them a few times as a child and dreaming about them as well. It was
awful. Before I would go to sleep every night I would put the covers
over my head and fall asleep. I thought if I did that they wouldn't be
able to see me.
This fear of demons and demon possession got even more intense when I
watched a movie called "The Ring" A horror movie about a dead girl who
would come out of a TV to kill any one who watched a certain video.
The movie had so much evil in it and I knew that but I was stupid enough
to stay for the second one. That night I saw things. I once thought I
saw from the side of my eye something come out of my Lord of the rings
poster one night. Watching that movie that one time brought years of
mind horror. Even til this day walking past that movie at the store or
scenes from it re- entering my brain still brings fear into my mind. But
now I know the wisdom that "Fear" is a matter of choice. And Fear is
not a strong hold that I am giving into no more!
During my teen years I've not only feared demons, I had the fear of men I
didn't know. I didn't like to be around them if I didn't know them, the
fear of whether or not Jesus loved me, if I was going to hell, the fear
of not pleasing people, the fear of saying "no", the fear of wearing
fitted clothing because of my insecurity, the fear of even telling the
truth sometimes. You can say I was a pretty messed up kid. Honestly I
would agree with you! I was a girl with years of bondage and the sad
thing was no one could see it!
When the truth was revealed.
When I was nineteen and started hanging out with Leon who introduced
me to the woman who changed my life in my spirituality Ms Tammie. That
was when things began to change.
God has used her in my life in many more ways than one.
God has used this Jesus loving, Bible meditating lady to show me the
way out of this bondage. Through her, Jesus has shown me that He WANTED
to break the chains that was keeping me from Him. He wanted to destroy
the fear that has taken place in my heart. I couldn't know the perfect
love of Jesus while I still allowed fear to reign in my heart. That was
something I needed to change fast!
There is no fear in
love; but
perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made
perfect in
love. -1 John 4:8
God has shown me that I don't have to fear. It's not an emotion He gave
us and it is not an emotion He planned for us to have. It's an emotion
of the world that His child can choose not to have!
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
He even gave us ways to fight and conquer fear along with the rest of the enemy's tricks to take our mind off Him. And that is His Spoken word.
People really don't understand and underestimate the power of God's
spoken word. He has given us authority in His word and in that we can do
all things through Him.
Freedom. Yes,
that has to be one of my favorite words! Yes Freedom and Love actually
are my favorite. You know, you really can't know what freedom feels like
unless you are free. That's why so many people walk the earth believing
they're free when everyone else can look at them and see that they are
hurting. That was me four years ago. But now I know the true definition
of freedom and that it's hidden in Christ for all who desire it. Freedom
is a choice. You can choose to seek God for it, you can choose to be
fearless, you can choose to live a life with no bondage and you can
choose tto live your dream and live the incredible and abundant life
Christ died to give you!
