Friday, January 11, 2013

If a picture could say 1000 words.

This is me sooooo sleepy from a long night of diaper changing, nursing,singing and snoring. No, Evelynne doesn't snore. Her Father can take the blame for that ;) And somehow Evelynne is wide awake at 7:30 am.

I think it's safe to say I'm at the stage of motherhood where I can live in sweat pants and style around the house with a tank top with spit up all over it and be completely fine. My hair is growing out, my bangs our starting to out grow my face because I haven't had a hair cut since September..   Motherhood is a tough and selfless job that doesn't end, a season in life I wasn't prepared for. But it is the season in life I will love and treasure always. After a long night there is nothing more rewarding to have a wide awake little life smiling up at you and to look at you like you are her everything. As hard as motherhood can be I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's the life and ministry I'm meant to have and my uttermost desire to live! I love this little girl unconditionally <3 I praise and give all glory to God. He has blessed me!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

My Testimony.

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ 
Isaiah 41:10

Hey lovelies,  so I have been working on going deeper in a study about fear and learning to be more fearless. So, in the future you will probably see more posts on things I have learned. Because of this I have decided to share my own testimony with you about fear and the bondage it had over more life for many years.

Ever since I was little "fear" has always been a huge part of my life. I remember very vividly when I was a young girl my family watched the classic "Wolf Man" in the family living room. I remember being so fearful and hiding under the kitchen table with the fear of the Wolf man coming to get me.  I'm not gonna say that's where the fear started because  honestly I don't know.  But I remember letting fear have power over me through out my entire childhood.

I couldn't even tell you everything I feared with a deep emotion. I was afraid to be in my family basement by myself, to be upstairs by myself, to be outside by myself, to be inside the house by myself. I was even afraid of Male Cashiers. Why? I have no idea. It sounds so silly to me now. But when I was younger it was a serious matter. I would actually wait in the longer line if that meant I would have a girl cashier. 
I would have  to say the biggest fear that had most power over me was the fear of demons. I remember seeing them a few times as a child and dreaming about them as well. It was awful. Before I would go to sleep every night I would put the covers over my head and fall asleep. I thought if I did that they wouldn't be able to see me. 
This fear of demons and demon possession got even more intense when I watched a movie called "The Ring" A horror movie about a dead girl who would come out of a TV to kill any one who watched a certain video.
The movie had so much evil in it and I knew that but I was stupid enough to stay for the second one. That night I saw things. I once thought I saw from the side of my eye something come out of my Lord of the rings poster one night.  Watching that movie that one time brought years of mind horror. Even til this day walking past that movie at the store or scenes from it re- entering my brain still brings fear into my mind. But now I know the wisdom that "Fear" is a matter of choice. And Fear is not a strong hold that I am giving into no more!
During my teen years I've not only feared demons, I had the fear of men I didn't know. I didn't like to be around them if I didn't know them, the fear of whether or not Jesus loved me, if I was going to hell, the fear of not pleasing people, the fear of saying "no", the fear of wearing fitted clothing because of my insecurity, the fear of even telling the truth sometimes. You can say I was a pretty messed up kid. Honestly I would agree with you! I was a girl with years of bondage and the sad thing was no one could see it!
 When the truth was revealed.
When I was nineteen and started hanging out with Leon who introduced me to the woman who changed my life in my spirituality Ms Tammie. That was when things began to change. 
God has used her in my life in many more ways than one. 
God has used this Jesus loving, Bible meditating lady to show me the way out of this bondage. Through her, Jesus has shown me that He WANTED to break the chains that was keeping me from Him. He wanted to destroy the fear that has taken place in my heart. I couldn't know the perfect love of Jesus while I still allowed fear to reign  in my heart. That was something I needed to change fast!

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. -1 John 4:8

God has shown me that I don't have to fear. It's not an emotion He gave us and it is not an emotion He planned for us to have. It's an emotion of the world that His child can choose not to have!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 
2 Timothy 1:7

He even gave us ways to fight and conquer fear  along with the rest of the enemy's tricks to take our mind off Him. And that is His Spoken word.
People really don't understand and underestimate the power of God's spoken word. He has given us authority in His word and in that we can do all things through Him.

Freedom. Yes, that has to be one of my favorite words! Yes Freedom and Love actually are my favorite. You know, you really can't know what freedom feels like unless you are free. That's why so many people walk the earth believing they're free when everyone else can look at them and see that they are hurting. That was me four years ago. But now I know the true definition of freedom and that it's hidden in Christ for all who desire it. Freedom is a choice. You can choose to seek God for it, you can choose to be fearless, you can choose to live a life with no bondage and you can choose tto live your dream and live the incredible and abundant life Christ died to give you!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Over coffee.

 If I were having coffee with you, I would tell you "I hope you're having a great New Year!"  We haven't done this coffee date in a little while mainly because I'm so busy giving all of my attention to this little girl above. She is  my priority now and my family will always come first and second to God ;) 
But while she is sleeping in her swing wearing just one sock. I thought I would catch up on a coffee date with you that has been long over due!

If I was having coffee with you, I would tell you that God is leading and guiding me on a study about fear & fearlessness and the kind of power they both can carry.  I can't wait to share it with you! You see, until now fear has been a huge part of my life. I was scared of everything! and every now and then the enemy still tries to convince me that I am still a fearful girl. But I choose to listen to the Truth teller and His words are I am a Princess Fearless Warrior. Fearful of no thing. I mean what can demons and people do to me when I have God on my side? Yes, I will have much more to say on this topic on a much near future post! I hope you stick around for that. You'll be blessed!

If I was having coffee with you, I would tell you that last night was a very special night! I wish I could tell you that Evelynne slept through the whole night! But I can't. I'm still waiting for that miracle. But what I can tell you is that she slept in her bassinet the whole night and only woke up twice! So, she's getting better.
Her sleeping in her bassinet is a huge deal for me. You see I started her out sleeping with me and that is something I told myself I wouldn't do.....ooops! So I had to set it straight and lay down the law last night. And this mission was accomplished!

I can't believe how fast she's growing! I was going through her clothes during the weekend and packing up her NB clothing and putting them in the attic because they no longer fit her. Apart of me was happy because now she can wear the 3 month old cute clothing but another part of me was sad to let them go. I guess it just brought me to the reality that my baby girl is growing up faster then the eye can see! I must say though, I want to thank every mom who told me "NOT to buy NB clothes for her because she would never wear them."  Because that was truth right there! She didn't really get to wear a few of her NB outfits and the ones she did wear she only wore   for a few times. I guess baby Riley girl #2 gets a chance at it. You know, when that time comes ;)

Leon is getting much better at this whole Dad thing. The Police academy has made him a little rough around the edges but he's getting much better! I think with a little more training he'll be a daddy pro! I'm just not sure he knows or quite understands yet what a little girl needs.I know he'll become more understanding though as he spends more time with her.

If I were having coffee with you, I would tell you our neighborhood squirrels are soo fat! It's so cute and funny. 

This is what I would tell you if we were having a coffee date. =D 

What would you tell me?