I need Him..

Jesus.. I need Him.

More than you and I even know, understand or comprehend. I just know I need Him.

On days when I would prefer to stay in bed all day than waking up I need Him.

When my days are energetic and filled with laughter I need Him.

When motherhood is exhausting I need Him.

And when it makes me cry tears of joy I need Him.

He puts all the pieces in place, and He creates all things lovely.. I honestly don't know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for Jesus.  The sweetness of His Name makes my soul leap. He is my obsession,
my passion.. I need nothing else. Just give me Him.. The One who died for me so that I may live the abundant, eternal life that was promised.

Recently God has been challenging me to step out.. To step out of this comfort zone that I unfortunately made comfortable in. I prayed to Him one day to use me and not let any talents that was given to me to go waste.. And I believe that's exactly what He did..

I am involved in a new Church. A church that is still young and new, a church that started out as an anointed Bible study with just a few people including my hubby and myself. A couple of years later we became a church that's continuing to grow and will reach millions. (can't wait for that!) And because we're a new church we needed some things. A worshiper, Children's Pastor ect. And I wanted to help out. I just wasn't sure how..  Honestly here. I didn't think my talents qualified.. But Jesus thought something different when He told me that I needed to start singing at the church..So after a few more confirmations I sent my Pastor a message asking if I could start singing.. So that's what I've been doing every other Sunday.. I don't actually lead worship at the moment but I bring glory to God as we do tithe and offering and I really love it! I don't have any dreams or visions for this at the moment.. But I know God does and  whether He calls me to worship until my daughter takes the stage or something else I'm completely fine with that! So, here is the very first song I sang a month ago. "Lord I need you" by Matt Maher.

What Purity is.

 Purity..  A word that is often mistaken, misused, and really misunderstood.

If you were to ask me what purity was and what it meant four years ago the answer would have been  different than my take on it now.. In fact total opposite.

I would have told you that purity is when someone saves sex for marriage. That was it. A very limited inside the box answer. But that's what I thought and believed defined purity. And unfortunately I wasn't the only person who thought  that.. My answer was influenced by older generations of women who believed that and passed it down to me and I have spoken to so many young women who believes the same thing..

Yes, saving sex for marriage is so so important and it's an act, an example and  a stand on purity but it's not what purity is. In fact you could still be a virgin who hasn't even kissed someone before but that doesn't mean you are pure. Because purity isn't physical. It's spiritual. It's a heart matter.. If your saving sex for your husband/wife but then looking at pornography, and lusting after young men or women it's really no different than hooking up with them in the first place. Because Jesus made it very clear that He doesn't look at the outer appearance but He looks at your heart! Which in my opinion is so much harder to control than physical.Sometimes we don't even  realize we're lusting after something until we have already done it.. Which is why on our own it is impossible to be pure.. to live a pure life.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."  -1 Samuel 16:7

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28

I have realized the hard way that purity even has nothing to do with us.. It's not something we could conquer on our own.. But Jesus, He is clothed in purity and righteousness and self- control.. He is what makes us pure, righteous and it is Him who strengthens us with self-control. It is not our strength but His alone.

 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. -Isaiah 1:18

 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

And Praise God for that because that means our purity can't be lost! Even when we do mess up and make mistakes. There is no sin that is to big for Jesus to forgive.. After all He gave His life so that you could have His! And this brings me back to a personal testimony a few years back while Leon and I were dating. If you have followed me for a while now or have read my "Purity and forgiveness" post  you would know that my Darling husband and I were not the best examples for living out purity for that short  season of time. Though it was a huge goal for me to do so. Mistakes happened that I learned from.

I remember feeling so much shame. Leon and I didn't actually have sex but boy did we almost sometimes. I personally didn't see a difference and still don't. To me giving into the flesh is giving into the flesh. I remember thinking to myself that there is no going back. I've committed the sin that we Christian often call "the big sin".. The one I was positive with in myself that I would never commit! My stance on saving intimacy for marriage was so strong... I thought nothing could break that! And afterwards I was broken.. I gave up on myself. I was not only mad at myself I also thought I failed Jesus, I failed my relationship, I failed in all hopes of being a great role model for other young women who are striving for purity, and I just thought I was a failure in itself.. A failure who was impure.

But you know what? God is so awesome. He is good and His Amazing love endures forever and doesn't stop when you do something that wasn't the smartest idea. In fact, I believe that's when He knows you need Him the most.. When you've fallen I believe the only thing He wants to do is pick His precious daughter up, give her the biggest bear hug, tell her He loves her and to keep running the race! I believe He is right there besides you cheering you on saying "You got this My precious Darling ! Because I am right here with you!"

In this culture we find that hard to believe. At least I did! Because we have earthy imperfect fathers.. Fathers who don't always show love, affection, encouragement and forgiveness. In fact  a lot of dads out there are just heartless. But God is perfect in Love.. And no matter what you have done and will do He will forever be perfectly in love with you! After all what you have and will do is no surprise to Him.. He knows it's gonna happen.. That's why He sent His only Son Jesus to  give His perfect life for you so that it wouldn't change a thing between His relationship with you.. You see, He  thought of The Way to bring you back to Him even before you left.

Piglets Birthday wish-list

Can you believe my baby girl is almost one!! EEK! It doesn't feel that long ago when I was still pregnant with her and hear I am now celebrating her Birthday Month.

I've been asked a few times on what would be a good gift for Evie, so I decided to create this. :)

1. My Evie LOVES music.. It's seriously no surprise to me. I always knew she had a heart to be a worshiper and a lover of music. She also loves dvd's with worship music on it and pretty pictures.

2. We are working on re-doing her room pink and brown giraffe print and giraffe print in itself.. So anything like that.

3. Evelynne is really needing some more toys to play with.. She has gotten so bored with her toys now.. I think it's because she's gotten older and she's just done with the old things. On with the new. We are wanting her to have puzzles like the picture above with the knobs so it will be good for her to work on her hand coordination, baby safe paint for crafts, learning toys or just anything good for her age.  :)

4. A girl honestly can't have to many head bows and bands. Hats are great too!

5. This girl loves anything giraffes!!! (If you didn't notice ;)) From stuffed animals to pictures and giraffe print.. They're her favorite.

6. This girl grows so fast so I never say no to clothes. Especially shoes. She can even wear some small 24 months now.

7. Evie LOVES books! I'd love for her to have the Jesus calling children's addition.. But really any hard cover book in general.