Wednesday, January 9, 2013

My Testimony.

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ 
Isaiah 41:10

Hey lovelies,  so I have been working on going deeper in a study about fear and learning to be more fearless. So, in the future you will probably see more posts on things I have learned. Because of this I have decided to share my own testimony with you about fear and the bondage it had over more life for many years.

Ever since I was little "fear" has always been a huge part of my life. I remember very vividly when I was a young girl my family watched the classic "Wolf Man" in the family living room. I remember being so fearful and hiding under the kitchen table with the fear of the Wolf man coming to get me.  I'm not gonna say that's where the fear started because  honestly I don't know.  But I remember letting fear have power over me through out my entire childhood.

I couldn't even tell you everything I feared with a deep emotion. I was afraid to be in my family basement by myself, to be upstairs by myself, to be outside by myself, to be inside the house by myself. I was even afraid of Male Cashiers. Why? I have no idea. It sounds so silly to me now. But when I was younger it was a serious matter. I would actually wait in the longer line if that meant I would have a girl cashier. 
I would have  to say the biggest fear that had most power over me was the fear of demons. I remember seeing them a few times as a child and dreaming about them as well. It was awful. Before I would go to sleep every night I would put the covers over my head and fall asleep. I thought if I did that they wouldn't be able to see me. 
  
This fear of demons and demon possession got even more intense when I watched a movie called "The Ring" A horror movie about a dead girl who would come out of a TV to kill any one who watched a certain video.
The movie had so much evil in it and I knew that but I was stupid enough to stay for the second one. That night I saw things. I once thought I saw from the side of my eye something come out of my Lord of the rings poster one night.  Watching that movie that one time brought years of mind horror. Even til this day walking past that movie at the store or scenes from it re- entering my brain still brings fear into my mind. But now I know the wisdom that "Fear" is a matter of choice. And Fear is not a strong hold that I am giving into no more!
During my teen years I've not only feared demons, I had the fear of men I didn't know. I didn't like to be around them if I didn't know them, the fear of whether or not Jesus loved me, if I was going to hell, the fear of not pleasing people, the fear of saying "no", the fear of wearing fitted clothing because of my insecurity, the fear of even telling the truth sometimes. You can say I was a pretty messed up kid. Honestly I would agree with you! I was a girl with years of bondage and the sad thing was no one could see it!
 When the truth was revealed.
When I was nineteen and started hanging out with Leon who introduced me to the woman who changed my life in my spirituality Ms Tammie. That was when things began to change. 
God has used her in my life in many more ways than one. 
God has used this Jesus loving, Bible meditating lady to show me the way out of this bondage. Through her, Jesus has shown me that He WANTED to break the chains that was keeping me from Him. He wanted to destroy the fear that has taken place in my heart. I couldn't know the perfect love of Jesus while I still allowed fear to reign  in my heart. That was something I needed to change fast!

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. -1 John 4:8


God has shown me that I don't have to fear. It's not an emotion He gave us and it is not an emotion He planned for us to have. It's an emotion of the world that His child can choose not to have!


For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 
2 Timothy 1:7


He even gave us ways to fight and conquer fear  along with the rest of the enemy's tricks to take our mind off Him. And that is His Spoken word.
People really don't understand and underestimate the power of God's spoken word. He has given us authority in His word and in that we can do all things through Him.




Freedom. Yes, that has to be one of my favorite words! Yes Freedom and Love actually are my favorite. You know, you really can't know what freedom feels like unless you are free. That's why so many people walk the earth believing they're free when everyone else can look at them and see that they are hurting. That was me four years ago. But now I know the true definition of freedom and that it's hidden in Christ for all who desire it. Freedom is a choice. You can choose to seek God for it, you can choose to be fearless, you can choose to live a life with no bondage and you can choose tto live your dream and live the incredible and abundant life Christ died to give you!

3 comments:

Sarah Nicole said...

Hey friend!
Thanks so much for writing this. It spoke right to my heart. Fear has been something I've struggled with for so long and it's something that I daily am battling in my mind. I think one thing that I so often forget is that it's not me putting those thoughts in my mind-it's the devil. We as humans so easily get deceived into thinking that WE are the ones thinking these things, when really he is putting those stupid thoughts in our heads!
Ephesians 6:12
"12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[a] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

This is so so important to remember!

I'm so glad you're Holy Spirit filled! It's so refreshing to read your posts. :)

Have a blessed day!

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather Leigh Riley said...

Exactly! We so often think there is something wrong with us when things come into our minds when really satan is putting it there! I just praise God and am so thankful that He gave us the freedom to not receive fear or thoughts from the enemy. <3 Xoxoxo I'm so glad this post blessed you friend! We sister's in Christ gotta stick together!