Monday, September 24, 2012

What I have learned the past couple of weeks.

 “It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be: always ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need, and making more than adequate provision. Such expectations put a man under an impossible strain”
― Ruth Graham

So as we all know my beloved hubby started the police academy about two weeks ago. This is his third week going on now. I was so excited about this job for us! I know this job is the job The Lord wanted Leon to have for the time being  to prepare him for his future ministry and to also use Leon to reach other people in the area. What I didn't realize is God had in mind to teach me a little something too! These last couple of weeks God has been working on me about what it truly means to be a wife, to be the woman of virtue that he needed and how important it truly is to set a joyous vibe in the house for the husband to arrive home.
 Week 1. Week one is what the police academy called "Hell week" They said that they were going to do everything in their power to make you quit the academy because they said if you can't handle them, you certainly can't handle the city. This was clearly the hardest week for the both of us. Of course more for him than for me. And I honestly think it would have been easier for me if I didn't have these pregnancy emotions going on. Leon would come home exhausted looking. (I honestly have never seen him so exhausted) Some days he'd come home with new bruises, one day he came home with blood marks on his shirt collar because he didn't shave that morning. So they made him use someone's razor to dry shave, and another day he came home with cuts, and missing skin on his hands because they made them bear craw across a base ball field with rocks,glass, and sand. Along with constantly  getting yelled and cussed at throughout the day. By the end of the day he was pretty much physically and emotionally strained. I guess you could say I wasn't expecting  the "Police academy" to be this hardcore. In fact I lost it emotionally after he told me one morning not to make a lunch that needs to be refrigerated. Because they had to earn that right. After he left I went upstairs to ball my eyes out because I felt so sorry for him. Even though he would do nothing to get sympathy. Sympathy is not in his vocabulary. But me being a pregnant wife seeing my husband get treated this way was absolutely devastating. But no way was I gonna let Leon see me cry. I mean that would be the last thing he needed to see before leaving for work right? So, after telling me about not being able to refrigerate his stuff and after starting to get upset about it in shock, I held it back, hugged him and said "Only
a few more days til the weekend honey"  And then I went upstairs to cry.

My mission for that week was to be the most supportive wife I could be, Praying favor over him, making sure dinner was on the table when he got home, (that in itself was a task for me because he got home earlier so I had to start dinner earlier) And making sure the vibe of the house was as warm and loving as a mother with cookies and milk on the table for her kids when they got off school. Leon didn't give up on being a hardworking husband despite of the things he went through that week. He didn't complain, and he didn't quit when five other police trainees did. And like he didn't go by his feelings,  neither did I. I had to make sure my husband had the most relaxing few hours before bedtime. Before he would face work again the next day. And may I add in despite the fact they worked them like crazy. Leon still managed to get his witnessing in to a few co-police trainees? He even prayed over a few.  Which is what Leon says is his mission. He said he's going there to be trained as a cop but what he's there for is to be an undercover evangelist. I am so proud of this man and God has shown him much favor. He started out as just a trainee the first week and by the end of the week he was a squad leader of seven other Police trainees! A Marine Sargent said to him "We picked you not because you have leader skills, but because you have the heart of a lion. And how you pushed yourself and didn't give up!

Week 2.  Week two was a learning process for me for sure! Thank God though "Hell week" was over.  It was much easier for him this week because it was more school than physical stuff. And he loved being a leader. After all leadership is one of his many callings. But I think week two was harder for me emotionally.  you see I was used to having Leon to myself for most of the day. Because the job he had before he was home usually around 2pm. Now he's gone from around 5:30am  to 5:00pm So, I have defiantly been lacking on attention from him. Not because he wants to but because he has to. He hates not giving me attention especially because one of my main love languages is "quality time"  But he just didn't have the time. As soon as he gets home we eat dinner together as we talk about each others day, He does school, sometimes I get to help him and then we hit the hay. So yea, we get some quality time when he gets home. But the last thing I know he wants to do is go for a walk with me as soon as he walks in the door. So, during the day I would feel a little down because I would feel like I haven't seen my husband in forever! But God has shown me and reminded me who I needed to depend on for comfort, love, and quality time. And that's Jesus. I was reminded of the fact that so many reasons why marriages don't last these days is because they seek too much in their partner. More than their partner can give them. They expect them to fulfill every need, every desire and to always be there for them.. But what they don't know is that task is impossible for them to accomplish! the standard is too high. The only one who can do that and much more is Jesus. But because they don't seek Jesus for these things. They just assume their partner doesn't care and they give up on loving them which causes bitterness. The Lord reminded me of this. He reminded me that Leon cannot always be there for me, and can't always give me the attention that I desire. And He reminded me and has shown me once again that He can and will! It is so important as wives to not depend on our husbands for our needs. Nor to love us, Cherish us, to give us attention, or even financially. Because when we depend on them for such things and not God. It leaves them with a strain and burden. That's why it is so important that God is #1 in all relationships for it to work. Because it is impossible to love if God is not loving through you.  It is impossible for me to give Leon everything he needs, to give him the love and respect he needs during these times or any times if God is not working through me. But I know when God is working and loving through both of us. We will never feel lonely or abandoned by each other. Because when we let God work through us and love through us. He gives us the love for each other that a husband and wife needs and desires.

How I see this picture of  Leon being gone for most of the week, eating dinner and doing school when he gets home and bed right after that. I see it as my turn to give to Leon. He needs attention from me more right now. More than I need his. For everything there is a season. And during this season God is using Him to take care of his family financially and loving me in the Spirit and it is my season to give him all the love and attention he needs no matter how I feel, no matter how bad I want that back rub. And on the weekends.... He's mine! lol.  Mr. Riley is always giving me my attention on the weekends. I got Carrabbas, a leg message, a nice walk, a movie night, and a Pumpkin spice latte from this man all in one weekend! My weekend was made for real.

Lessons learned:
1. Depend on Jesus for all of your needs and you won't be left empty
2. The most important thing a married couple can do is to love Jesus and receive His love more than each other. Because if you try to love one another without the love of Jesus. It will fall apart. And love will not be there.
3. Depend on Jesus for everything (love,encouragement,attention etc) and not your spouse.
4. Marriage is a give and take relationship. Not all giving and not all receiving. In some seasons we need to give more to our spouses and in other seasons we get to be the receivers. And when God is in the midst of it all and is involved in your life constantly. Giving to your spouse feels just as wonderful as receiving!
5. It is so important that your husband comes home to a wonderful vibe. And that coming home is the high light of his day.
What do you think of Leon's bald head??

No comments: