Monday, January 14, 2013

Over Coffee. Encouragement to my single sisters.


If I was having coffee with you. I would tell you that  I have been thinking about you often. And I have been reading many of your facebook, and twitter posts regarding to wanting a boyfriend, wanting someone to hold you, kiss you and make you feel special. I have seen you looking lonely, and I have seen an emptiness inside your heart that your hoping a knight in shining armor can fulfill, I have seen you looking in all the wrong places, doing the wrong things, and doing everything you can to please someone who is only bringing you hurt. Well darling, I want to tell you a lil something.
I'm gonna start off by telling you today that I know how you feel. TRUST ME! I have spent many years single. In fact I didn't have a boyfriend until I was nineteen  years of age. So, please listen to me when I say I am not speaking empty words. I remember that lonely feeling. That feeling you get when your friends have dates for prom, when your friends cancel on you because their boyfriends want to take them out, and having to be a good friend by listening to your friend talk about their first kiss or when he held her hand for the first time.  I remember those feelings. And because I do. The Lord wants me to encourage you with these words.


I know you may be thinking "How in the world can God know how I feel? How can Jesus ever be lonely when He's The Lord of the universe? Well, think about it. When He came to earth He experienced every emotion we experience. He was rejected and denied  by His friends,  tormented by soldiers, and spat on by millions of people that He loved. He had people yelling in His face, beating Him, and blaspheming Him. And when He died on The cross for us, God had to turn His head from Jesus for the first and last time because Jesus bore the sin of the world. And God cannot look upon sin. That right there had to have been the most lonely feeling ever experienced. You can't even imagine it. And He bore that so you would not have to experience that kind of loneliness.


If I was having coffee with you today I would tell you that if  you would have known me in my teen early years. You definitely would have labeled me as "boy crazy" Every time I went out I was on the lookout for boys, I had posters on my wall of cuties, loved romanced movies, and you would often find me day dreaming of how I would meet my future hunk when I should have been doing my studies...... ooops!  And even though I didn't have a bf for Valentines day. I still celebrated it by my lonesome. And if I was lucky I had other single girlfriends to join me ( Which didn't happen often). But you see, It didn't have to be that way at all! And I wish I would have realized that long before I did. I had that void in my heart. And I thought that void could be filled if I had a boyfriend.. But you see. You can't fill that void with a boy or man. That void can only be filled with the one who loves you the most and more than any man or boy can. And that's Jesus. My heart was changed at the age of seventeen when I went to camp with my Baptist church. To be honest I don't remember all the sermons that well. And  certainly not good enough to quote any. But what really hit me was the worship. That was the first time the presence of The Holy Spirit overcame me and it was the first time I was brought to tears. My life was forever changed. He was The Love of my life and lover of my soul. Worship really brought me to a oneness with Him. I realized He was really all I needed. And  I realized I didn't even want to play the whole "dating game" that all of my friends played. As much as I wanted a boyfriend I just knew that game wasn't for me and that it certainly wouldn't make me stronger with my relationship with God. So, I made a commitment that I wasn't going to date by worldly standards, I wasn't going to try and date all the fishes in the sea. I wanted to do it God's way and only His way. I made the decision that I was only going to date one man, say "I love you" to one man, to hold hands with one man, to kiss one man, and to marry one man. So that my future husband could have my everything. Because I thought my man deserves that much from me!  And I knew it would be amazing because that's how God plans things. Some supported my decision, some said I was setting myself up for disappointment and self condemnation, and I even had a youth pastors wife tell me that wasn't realistic. But you know what? I wasn't going for what was "realistic" in the worldly realm. I was going for  the realistic in God's realm. Because in Him all things are possible and I know He wanted what was best for me. And I knew His perfect plan was for me to live a life without the heartbreak of a boy. And suddenly that void in my heart was filled with the love of Jesus.

Now I'm not saying that because the void was filled I didn't have crushes or interests and I didn't have lonely moments. Of course I did! I was actually very interested  in a few men  before Leon came into my life. And I was certain they were my future holy hunks. But I told God I had no interest to be with them if He didn't want me to be. So, I prayed for departure with them or loss of interest. And that was exactly what happened. One went to college and I lost interest with the rest. And I have spent some nights crying because I wanted to be held and cherished by a man. It doesn't mean a void was still there. It simply means that I'm human, a woman, and I was created to be loved by a man and to be cherish by a man. God knew this. And all those nights He was right there to comfort me. Telling me and reminding me of what He had planned. He had that knight in shining armor waiting for me. I just had to be patient. He reminded me to give my single life to Him. And let me tell you girl!  It's the best decision you can make! It was certainly the best one I made.  Jesus has filled my every need as a single woman. That need to be cherished, loved, and known. I can't think of a time where He hasn't been there. I would wake up and He surprised me every morning with a new picture of the sunrise, I'd go outside and He'd surprise me with a flowers new bloom, He'd speak to me through people and sometimes He'd speak to my very heart. And through His word He would remind me of His everlasting love for me. And that He was all I needed.  And Valentines day was no longer lonely. It was a special day I would set a side for Jesus and I. And yes, I would still watch romance movies. And I would be glad. Because I know my relationship with Jesus was so much more special and deeper then Hollywood's. And He had a special and more romantic plan for my love life with my husband. Better than Hollywood can comprehend. Not only did giving my single life to God grow my relationship with Him, fill a lonely void in my heart but also, giving my single life to God gave me hope for the future! I didn't have to worry about whether or not I would ever get married. I knew it was His plan. I just needed to be patient.

A lot of women give up and get into relationships themselves because they say God isn't working fast enough for them. But that is a nasty trick the enemy can use to bring you further from God. I have known people who have turned their back on God and have decided to do things their way and the only thing that has come out of it was heartbreak one way or another. It either ended up with abuse, divorce, singleness for a much longer period of time and depression. And some women are left being a struggling single mom. But that is not God's plan for your life at all! He wants to give you life and life more abundantly. If you are feeling like your already waiting a billion years. Keep reading His word, seek Him. He has answers for you. He works faster than you think. In fact He never stops working on your future. He is preparing both you and the man He has for you. I was the only one out of all my friends that didn't have a boyfriend. And of course at times I was discouraged. But here is an example of  how God working faster than most people think. and here's my testimony that if you wait on God to bring you your future husband you won't be disappointed. 
I met my future husband Leon. Actually when we were fourteen at a friends birthday party. He was a cool goth kid. And I was a naive home schooled girl that was boy crazy (Not the best combination)  We were both attracted to each other but for some reason we didn't exchange numbers or keep contact. Most likely because my mom didn't want me to be involved with some goth boy. And then a few years later at the age of eighteen I saw him again. He was a maintenance and security man at a Church I was involved in at the time. And as soon as I saw him I new who he was. Which is quite strange because he looked COMPLETELY different from when I first met him. He was no longer that goth kid I met that day. He was very nicely put together, muscular and smelled amazing! And just by looking at him I could tell he was a very spiritual man. And I didn't know this at the time. But I believe God was speaking to my heart that day that he was going to be the man I would one day marry. And that day seriously came sooner than I thought. We became friends that January, became closer friends that April, had my first date that July, had my very first boyfriend that September, got engaged that November and we were married by December of 2011 at the age of twenty. The Lord brought us together within two years. You can read more about our love story here.

There are so many more testimonies you can find on how fast God works and even better how Awesome God works! Like Rebecca St James. She was married in her early thirties to the love of her life! She lived her entire single life fully devoted to God through her music and now she and her husband are now sharing a life together in fully dedication to God. She had many nights wondering if she would ever get married. And God was always there with her. To comfort, love and cherish. And being married in her early thirties she never regrets giving her single life to God. And she has such a joy in her spirit that is amazingly beautiful. A joy only God could give her. When I met her that one October day at Panera Bread. I saw on her a woman with no regrets. And that's exactly what God wants to give you. A life with no regrets.

So this is what God has really put in my heart today. He wants you to know that He loves you more than any boy or man could! And He wants to show you a love that no man can fill. All you have to do is trust Him and give your life to Him. And He will fill every void, cherish and fill your every need. And wake you up in the morning with a smile on your face. I deeply encourage you to give your single life to Christ. Because then you will realize that being single isn't such a curse like you think it is. But it's really a blessed life!

The verse I leave with you today is a verse that has helped me so much during my single life and God still uses it to speak to me today!  It's Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you. Declares The Lord. Plans that will prosper you and not harm you. Plans that will give you hope and a future!
Be blessed my sisters!

This is what I would tell you if I were having coffee with you this morning. What would you tell me?

We're cheesy and we know it!

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