Over coffee.

If I were having coffee with you right now, I would share with you my uttermost excitement of the thought that I could be holding my daughter any day now! I would also tell you that I feel like a bomb that could explode any second..  I can't even tell you how uncomfortable I have been this past few weeks. I feel like shes doing all kinds of awkward positions that I don't even understand.  I told her it would be easier on both of us if she were to just come.. I would be more comfortable and she would have more elbow room.

As each day comes, I admit I have been a little nervous yet, excited at the same time. Do you know what I mean? I guess just the thought of not knowing what to expect in the near future and knowing that what you can only imagine and what motherhood feels and looks like is only scratching the surface of what it really is. I've had women tell me that "being a mother is like living your entire life with your heart out side of your body" And I've had mothers tell me that it's the hardest but most wonderful experience. Maybe I'm just thinking too much about it. Or perhaps, am I thinking enough? I've went through and re- went through her baby bag just to make sure I have everything, made sure all her things are put together in it's place (I've never thought I could be so organized) I guess what I'm trying to say is that reality took place. It's a reality to me now knowing that in only amount of hours and days I will be responsible for  a life that is not my own. I will be responsible to care for this child, love this child, teach this child, and to bring her up with confidence that she will know who she is! I'm so glad God gave us the Bible, It's really the best parenting tool book!

 
If I were having coffee with you. I would tell you these past nine months have been the most different yet exciting time of my life. I guess because being a newly wed and expecting mother is my calling in life, my ministry. I know it's what I was meant to do. And God kinda just handed it all to me at the same time.
I must say I can't compare anything to pregnancy. The best way I can describe it is that Pregnancy is a love hate situation. Like the first trimester morning sickness, uncomfortably, tiredness, crampy legs, pressure, emotional hormones, lack of sleep. But it's also one of the best feelings in the world! It gives you a special glow and a special emotion. To have a little life grow inside of you, feeling her kick, move, and seeing all the awkward stomach movements when she's doing who knows what in there, and knowing that you are the first person in the world that has a special bond with this little person. Pregnancy is not easy, and from what I was told neither  is motherhood. But like pregnancy I know it will all be worth it!

If I were to have coffee with you today. I would tell you how bummed I am that I finally got stretch marks... (SAD FACE) I thought I was doing so good and that there was no way I as getting them because I was 35 weeks and not one in sight. But then my stomach started getting really itchy and I wasn't using my self control and itched. Which caused them bad boys.. aw well, I guess it's not a huge deal. I've never been a huge bikini person anyways.. My husband still tells me I'm sexy.. (Love that man)

I would probably confuse you with this pregnant tired brain of mine if we were really having coffee together. With all of these mix of emotions I would probably apologize to you because I probably wouldn't make sense at times. But this is what I would tell you tonight if we were having coffee together. What would you tell me?

Waiting on a woman.

Today's the day! It's Evie's official due date eeek! I feel like this whole pregnancy has flew by. It doesn't feel that long ago when Leon and I found out that we were expecting our little princess. but don't get me wrong! I'm defiantly ready to not be pregnant. I'm ready to hold my sweet girl for the first time and kiss those little fingers and toes. I feel like Leon has been the more patient one about all this. This past week I have been checking and re-checking my bags, walking up and down the stairs and pretty much everything there is to do to get things started. And when I went to my Midwife on Wednesday I must admit I was a little disappointed when she said I wasn't dilated yet, but she did say that she was extremely low. Leon keeps reminding me that She'll come when shes ready and no sooner! Sigh... He's going to be such an understanding Father.. I think I still have work to do lol.

 

 

 

 

  I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any. I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.
Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind Waitin' on a woman... 
-Brad Paisley. Waiting on a woman.

Thoughts on labor and being a momma.

The other day I was asked if I was nervous about going into labor? I've never really thought about that question before. Am I nervous about going into labor? I'll have you guys know that  my pain tolerance isn't the highest. When I'm in pain you know without a doubt that I'm in pain just by looking at my facial expressions. So, you would think just the thought of going through what they call  "The most painful situation a women has ever been through"  would terrify me. But honestly it doesn't! I am at one hundred percent complete peace about going into labor. Do you know why? Because this is what I'm called to do.  Jesus has called me to be a mother. And not just any mother, but a mother to this child. He has called me to look after her, protect her, love her, to be a godly example of a mother to her and most importantly show and teach her the love of Christ, to know her identity in Him. I am called to bring this child into the world who is going to do amazing things for the Glory of God! And the best part is Jesus will be there with me all the way. Supporting me, loving me, and watching over me. So, if you ask me I have nothing to be nervous about. It's what I'm meant to do, it's my ministry, it's my calling.

Many thoughts have crossed my mind about being a mother. You would think after all those years of babysitting and taking care of my nieces and nephews would prepare me for this. I have not even held my daughter in my arms yet and I am already understanding the concept that mothers always say "You'll never know or understand until you have one of your own." I sometimes don't feel at all ready for this. But I know it's in God's perfect will and His perfect season. I know He's got a plan for this little girl. There has been many times during this pregnancy when I just didn't feel ready, didn't feel prepared. I just didn't feel qualified. But once again The Lord speaks to my heart with the perfect answer. "The called never come qualified, But I always qualify the called" I know on my own I am not and will never be qualified. But through Jesus. My Heavenly Father, The Great I am. I am qualified through Him and His perfect love for me.I know through Him I can do all things. And raising this Miracle will be for His glory alone!

Preparation for Labor:
Thanks to my dear blog friend Heather from  findingbeautyintheordinary I have been inspired in many ways when it comes to being prepared, and being a mother in general. Things she has learned before me because shes a few months ahead of the game since she had her precious daughter back in August. So, because of her posts I am fully prepared and packed for the medical center. She inspired the idea to make the doctors and nurses a goodie basket. I loved this idea because it shows your appreciation to them and I really want my Midwives to know they are appreciated. So, this is my gift basket to them.

 And I'm making sure to pack snacks and stuff too! We'll only be there for about four hours after we have her because I'm having her at a medical center but I wanted to make sure I was prepared!

 I think I may be prepared for a two week vacation... But who knows what to expect when your having a baby!

Come on baby girl, Momma's waiting for you!