What Purity is.

 Purity..  A word that is often mistaken, misused, and really misunderstood.

If you were to ask me what purity was and what it meant four years ago the answer would have been  different than my take on it now.. In fact total opposite.

I would have told you that purity is when someone saves sex for marriage. That was it. A very limited inside the box answer. But that's what I thought and believed defined purity. And unfortunately I wasn't the only person who thought  that.. My answer was influenced by older generations of women who believed that and passed it down to me and I have spoken to so many young women who believes the same thing..

Yes, saving sex for marriage is so so important and it's an act, an example and  a stand on purity but it's not what purity is. In fact you could still be a virgin who hasn't even kissed someone before but that doesn't mean you are pure. Because purity isn't physical. It's spiritual. It's a heart matter.. If your saving sex for your husband/wife but then looking at pornography, and lusting after young men or women it's really no different than hooking up with them in the first place. Because Jesus made it very clear that He doesn't look at the outer appearance but He looks at your heart! Which in my opinion is so much harder to control than physical.Sometimes we don't even  realize we're lusting after something until we have already done it.. Which is why on our own it is impossible to be pure.. to live a pure life.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."  -1 Samuel 16:7

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28

I have realized the hard way that purity even has nothing to do with us.. It's not something we could conquer on our own.. But Jesus, He is clothed in purity and righteousness and self- control.. He is what makes us pure, righteous and it is Him who strengthens us with self-control. It is not our strength but His alone.

 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. -Isaiah 1:18

 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

And Praise God for that because that means our purity can't be lost! Even when we do mess up and make mistakes. There is no sin that is to big for Jesus to forgive.. After all He gave His life so that you could have His! And this brings me back to a personal testimony a few years back while Leon and I were dating. If you have followed me for a while now or have read my "Purity and forgiveness" post  you would know that my Darling husband and I were not the best examples for living out purity for that short  season of time. Though it was a huge goal for me to do so. Mistakes happened that I learned from.

I remember feeling so much shame. Leon and I didn't actually have sex but boy did we almost sometimes. I personally didn't see a difference and still don't. To me giving into the flesh is giving into the flesh. I remember thinking to myself that there is no going back. I've committed the sin that we Christian often call "the big sin".. The one I was positive with in myself that I would never commit! My stance on saving intimacy for marriage was so strong... I thought nothing could break that! And afterwards I was broken.. I gave up on myself. I was not only mad at myself I also thought I failed Jesus, I failed my relationship, I failed in all hopes of being a great role model for other young women who are striving for purity, and I just thought I was a failure in itself.. A failure who was impure.

But you know what? God is so awesome. He is good and His Amazing love endures forever and doesn't stop when you do something that wasn't the smartest idea. In fact, I believe that's when He knows you need Him the most.. When you've fallen I believe the only thing He wants to do is pick His precious daughter up, give her the biggest bear hug, tell her He loves her and to keep running the race! I believe He is right there besides you cheering you on saying "You got this My precious Darling ! Because I am right here with you!"

In this culture we find that hard to believe. At least I did! Because we have earthy imperfect fathers.. Fathers who don't always show love, affection, encouragement and forgiveness. In fact  a lot of dads out there are just heartless. But God is perfect in Love.. And no matter what you have done and will do He will forever be perfectly in love with you! After all what you have and will do is no surprise to Him.. He knows it's gonna happen.. That's why He sent His only Son Jesus to  give His perfect life for you so that it wouldn't change a thing between His relationship with you.. You see, He  thought of The Way to bring you back to Him even before you left.

Purity & Forgiveness

Happy July 1st!!! I feel like this year is going by so fast.  I'm doing something a bit differently today friends. I'm going to be sharing a vlog with you! This is my very first time making a spiritual vlog so I was a bit nervous but making encouraging blogs are something that Jesus has been really putting upon my heart to do. It's definitely not something I like to do because well, they're  awkward and sometimes I just don't know what to say or share. A bit out of my comfort zone you know?  But God has given me the words to speak just as He has given me the courage to turn my video camera on & share. I've heard these things get easier and easier with every vlog so until than I can be fearless. I know these vlogs Jesus has encouraged me to do will bless someone including myself to be more of a public speaker. Anyways... Now that I have poured my heart out to you about vlogging.

This vlog title is called "Purity & Forgiveness"
About forgetting  what God has already forgotten which is such a hard thing to do sometimes isn't it? We often feel like God remembers the bad things more than the good. But my friend it's the total opposite. The God we serve is The God of love and when Jesus died on the cross for you all of your sins were forgiven & forgotten right there. Right at the moment Our Sweet Beloved whispered "It is finished".  Our Past. Our Present. Our Future. There is nothing that you can do to separate His love from you.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

Today friends, right this moment. I deeply encourage you to forget what God has already forgotten.. To trust and accept the fact that you ARE forgiven, loved and treasured indescribably. He takes great delight in you girl! Much love XOXO



 

Also, don't forget to come back Wednesday for our Mommy 5 Link up! We will be discussing our top five pieces of advice for birth/labor.. :)

Scars & Purity.

My Friend, sexual sin is one of the most damaging things that one can do to their own body physically, spiritually and mentally. Which is why God warns us to stay away from it!

God doesn't just tell us to wait for no reason. He loves us too much and He created not only us but sex as well, and because He created sex He also knows it very well. He created it to be a beautiful intimate thing that a man and a woman would come together to do in marriage. Sex is really such a beautiful thing! A man and a woman coming together in holiness and selflessness to give ones self to each other and creates a wonderful, beautiful being. Which is why Satan tries so hard to pervert it with lust and selfishness.

I am strongly passionate for purity. And no sex til marriage and because I have compromised my passions in the past I am even more passionate about it!  I was deeply  hurt from it and in different ways so was Leon. We realized what was going on and how the enemy was trying to get in our relationship. But we did not condemn ourselves at all because that would just be another battle Satan would want victory in. So we picked ourselves up and continued to run finishing the race and fighting the good fight. And the day finally came when we had our victory. They day I proudly walked down the aisle wearing white. I was more pure that day than ever before.  During this whole experience our loving God has given us so many testimonies. No matter how many times you fall God's promise is there always! He has never left us and has never forsaken us and never will. In fact I remember one time I was broken and hurt by all this and I was just pouring my heart to God asking for strength and He brought me to Isaiah 41:10.

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

This verse brought me so much comfort and joy! Knowing that His strength is inside me! And day by day, week by week His strength is in us more each day!

It doesn't matter how many times you fall. It's what you do afterwards. Are you going to condemn yourself and just lay there? or are you going to take your Fathers hand He willingly gave you, get back up and finish the race you were created to win?

Boundaries are so important!
One thing I really wish I would have done is talked with Leon about boundaries when we first got together. And stood for them. We had goals to stay pure and we had boundaries afterwards but we did not start out with boundaries. Just to stay pure. I now realize a relationship needs boundaries from the beginning. You just cannot say "Okay no impurity" But than think it is okay to go upstairs alone and watch a movie in his bedroom and expect nothing to happen!  A relationship with no boundaries can only lead to failure. And if you think you do not need boundaries you are greatly deceived my friend.
Here is a list of boundaries I deeply respect and highly recommend!

1. The swim principle. When you do not touch a guy anywhere a modest bathing  suit would cover and same with the girl.

2. no clothes off!!

3. Do not be alone with each other with the door shut.

4. No laying on the bed together. The bed is a very intimate special place for married couples and for sleeping.

My goal is to please God by living with a clean conscience before Him, and knowing He is watching. I want to please Him with all I am but I cannot do that if I am not living entirely for Him.

It's hard for the woman.
Sexual sin is really hard for the woman because when she gives even a small part of herself away too early she feels a loss of value, and when she feels a loss of value she also feels a loss of respect and a sense of respect toward the man, and then he feels a lack of value.
More reasons why saving sex is so important. I have seen relationships destroyed because of impurity, and it breaks my heart dearly.

Modest is hottest.
The gift of a woman's body is precious. Through her modesty she allows a lot about her character and what she values and it shows shes secure in herself. It breaks my heart when I see young girls in youth groups wearing immodest clothing. The media is a great influence on them. It is so important girls, that we dress modestly because our character is shown by how we dress and our attention is shown by how we dress as well. It is never a good excuse for a guy to disrespect a girl in a sexual way. But when we dress the part, we are asking for it! And I never want to see any girl disrespected. When we dress modestly we not only help our christian bro's out and respect them but we're also respecting ourselves and our bodies and most of all we are respecting God with our body.

You can do it!
Maybe you feel like you went to far to go back, you are furthest from the truth. Leon and I are living proof it's possible. As far as the east is from the west. God is here and the time is now. He is ready to catch you. Are you ready to jump into His Arms?

Much love- XOXO

Purity, Freedom and our identity.

 I will never forget the first morning. The first morning I woke up feeling shame. 
I felt like I had engaged in a series of fights. Battles I believed I couldn't win. I felt beaten up by a giant I could not defeat.  Chased by a darkness that I just couldn't ignore, I heard whispers of defeat dancing all around my shaken body. As my heart and mind had become beaten by this sudden war. I felt defeated, condemned as tears of pain ran down my red cheeks, my soul hiding it's face as I cried out "Jesus. What have I done?" 

I remember crying until their were no more tears to cry while trying to get my act together before my morning shift. This was the morning after my beliefs, my purity had been compromised. The morning after something happened I thought wouldn't be possible. I was strong enough to fight off lust. Or so I thought.

What is "lust" anyways? If you were to ask me that question a few years ago, I would have told you that "Lust" is a "sexual desire" one has for someone else outside of marriage. Something I didn't have a problem with. But if you were to ask me now. I would tell you that "Lust" is a dangerous root that comes in all kinds of  forms and disguises.

I say this with complete honesty. From what I can remember sexually desiring a man has never been a desire of mine. Sex was something I personally didn't feel the need to have. In fact I probably wouldn't have minded living the rest of my life as a virgin.. I have often heard women speak of "Sex" as just something women did for their husbands to please them or to just get them to shut up. I've thought "Sex" was for the man only. And after being sexually molested by a few family members and old friends being too afraid to say "no" and to fearful of saying anything to my parents. I had no interest in sex. So, lust, I didn't think was a problem for me.

Love.. Who would have thought that Lust could come in such a form? Of course not the "perfect love" that Jesus died to give us. But a desire to be loved. I was so lustful after love that I would have done anything to get it! And when you have such a desire to be loved without an ability to say "no" things can go very wrong.

That was me. To be loved was all that I wanted. Yes, I was a Christian my whole life.. But a religious Christian. I knew Jesus loved me but I couldn't grasp any of it. I sung the songs of "His love" but "Is it really true?" I often wondered.. I doubted many times. How could he have loved somebody like me? I to easily compared the love of God to my father's love.. I've always felt like I had to earn my fathers love. And because of that I never thought God was capable of loving me because I was not worthy. When in fact. All Jesus wanted to do was love on me but I was to desperate to feel the love of my earthly father who often rejected me that I shut Jesus out. And there was no room for His love in my heart.. Because my heart was filled with other things.. And that I didn't realize. I would go on and on in my mind of what I could do to earn the love of Christ. To be able to feel His love inside of me. And that is when I decided that I'd be pure for Jesus. And I would earn His love that way. So, all this time I'd talk about "Purity" About how I"m going to be 100% pure until marriage. I was under the impression that if I did that. I would be pleasing God and my dad for sure. And that there, was when Purity became my identity.I haven't  realized until now that I wasn't trying to remain pure for anyone but myself. So that I could get the satisfaction and so that I would get the attention I wanted and so that I could wear the halo for a while.

I didn't  find my identity in Christ at all. Honestly, I never thought I had one in Him.. I just thought the only thing I had was purity. It was my "Identity" And after I met my husband Leon. That lustful feeling of needing to be loved came back.. (Actually, I don't even think it left in the first place.)

For months, I had felt a battle, like the signal sound of warning filling my ears. Painful memories had come back, as the painful things returned and happened again for the last four years of my life. Making me feel like an object, a victim, worthless all over again. These bad memories had been surfacing my mind like dead  rotting fish in the lake as the enemy whispers in my ear just how worthless he convinced me I am.

And before I knew it, without even realizing it. I've allowed my desire to be loved take over. I had surrendered to a struggle with purity.

The next morning my feet hit the floor in shame.. I even felt too condemned to pray or even read my bible.. I've compromised purity, the identity I had.. There was nothing left of me.  My heart was broken, darkness overshadowed the light. Beating me constantly. Reminding me of what had happened the day before.. Leon and I didn't actually have sex.. But in my mind it wouldn't have made a difference at the time. I was ruined. There was no healing for me as my heart scattered across my bedroom floor into a million tiny pieces.

 I look back at that night as a new person. I no longer feel shame about those nights. But instead I thank God. I thank God for creating me  with perfection, making me new for His Glory. 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I thank God for working all things out from my mistakes and fixing them. Because He loves me. And making me more white and more pure today than I have ever been.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

And I thank God for opening my eyes and reminding me each day with love. Just how much I need Him to be my identity. And nothing else. 
 
To this day I don't think of the past as regretful memories, or painful memories. I no longer soak in tears because of them, I no longer give myself a pitty party because of what I have done.. Who has time for that?

I now look at the past as a battle that has been defeated, a victory that has taken place, a war that has been won.

A situation the enemy had planned to ruin me, But God's love had taken over and He renewed me.

I can look back and just thank God for loving me so much and taking me out of the situation I was in. 

My dear friends, these are not empty words I promise... This is not an empty testimony, It's not an empty story from one's past. It is a story of one's mistake that God has taken and made it beautiful. As if nothing had ever happened.. So today my friends I want to encourage you!

Sister, His passion for us is deep. His love  wants to overtake our whole bodies. And His kindness, it wants to convince us  that abandonment is not who He is, despair is not His language and punishment is not how He works. And He will do whatever it takes until we know this in our very souls. Some of us run around like pain and fear has the authority, like our experiences hold the scepter, like it is our memories that are stronger than death. (And until now that was me.) He extends the invitation to us to just pause. Pause and take all that authority we have stored up in our past and pour it out on Jesus. The Cross broke the power that we think this thing has over us and He is on the throne! Claiming us to be His bride.

And even today, like a subtle breeze, Jesus is whispering into our hearts reminding us that the authority that raised Him up out of the grave is the authority that's burning  inside of us.  We can use that authority or we don’t. The choice is ours. But there is a better option, a more beautiful answer.
The more we use that authority, the easier it gets. The more we believe we are who He says we are, the simpler it becomes.
Because purity is so easy when we know who we are.
You are too worthy and too valuable and too loved and too beautiful for this to destroy you. Don’t believe the lie that freedom is a reward. Because it’s not. Free is who you are! We are His Beloved.